Injury Report: Karma Baby!

Gary Sheffield - IL
Carl Pavano - IL
Octavio Dotel - IL
Hideki Matsui - IL

The first official moral logic question from The Sportseaters.

Is it sick that I am partially (if not completely) happy when rival teams' star players get injured? I feel very uncomfortable about this. But at the same time, this is the way I feel. What's wrong with me?

Obvious the logic goes like this:

- Good Teams are good because they have good players.

- Good teams are less good if they have less good players.

- Injuries take players out of the games.

- Injuries to good players take these good players out of the games, and thusly makes the teams less good.

- Good teams are easier to beat when their players are injured.

On the other hand:

- It's wrong and demented to hope that people get injured.

- It is better to beat a good team when they are at their best.

- I hope good players on the New York Yankees get injured.

- Thusly, I'm a horrible, awful person.

There may be a few jumps in the logic there, but you get the idea.

So what are we supposed to do with this? Does this only happen to me? Do I need counseling? Or does this happen to everyone and we just don't like to admit it? I'd like feedback. I'm checking into my health insurance policy to see what kind of mental health coverage I have, just in case I'm the next Hannible Lecter.

This reminds me of something else. The other day, I was flipping through the channels on the TV, and I came upon the movie Celtic Pride. The movie stars Damon Wayans, Dan Akroid, and Daniel Stern (Dude from Home Alone). The movie is about these 2 Celtic fans who kidnap the best player on the opposing team during the NBA finals. This was the worst movies I had ever seen. I didn't get to finish the movie because it was dinner time, so I never got to learn the lesson from the movie. I somehow see this as significant and relevant.

So what's the lesson. Where's the gap in my logic that tells me I'm wrong?

Playoff Hockey: I Love This Game!

Warning...Warning...We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming of NBA and MLB to make an important announcement: Playoff hockey is awesome! (Please do not disregard the rest of this message just because of the word hockey)

Yes, this little known, often forgotten sport has me enthralled. In a game where heroes go unnoticed and a celebration is nothing more than an arm raise and a few hugs, it has fallen into a vacuum of indifference and disinterest by the mass media, and sports fans as a whole. But as for me? One thing saves it, the playoffs.
They're exciting! That's right! Exciting!

It's end to end action. Every game has a fair share of 2 on 1 breakaways, stone cold slap shot upper 90 goals, fantastic goalkeeper sprawl saves, classic hockey fights/bad blood, huge hipchecks and boardslams, playoff beards, and at least one coach will always have a mustache for an added bonus.

Now please let me make a distinction here. This is strictly playoff hockey. I'll be the first one in line to say that the regular season is about as interesting as Nicole Richie in the Simple Life.

Every year I go through the same hockey cycle. It goes like this: The season starts with me not caring at all. I keep an eye on the Capitals to see if they're competitive. They are solidly in second to last place right in front of the Penguins. The regular season ends and I haven't watched one full period throughout the year. The playoffs start. I'm watching every minute of every game including double OT's that compell me stay up till 3am while trying not to wake my wife up as I jump on the couch after an unbelievable game-winning goal. It's the same thing every year. The season sucks, the playoffs are great. It's the biggest hyperspace jump from regular season to post-season in any sport.

Take last night, for example. After my evening obligations, I get home and turn on the Ducks at the Avalanche at the start of the third period in a 1-1 tie. In a 10-minute span I see a shorthanded goal, a pin-point upper 90 wrister goal, a hat-trick by a guy I've never heard of before named Lupul, and a rocket launcher slap shot goal to tie the game and send it into overtime, leaving me sweating and staring blankly out of amazement. Then in overtime, the guy Lupul wins it with his fourth goal of the game on a heat seeking five-hole missile shot. I nearly fainted.

If you are a sports fan, there is no reason not to like playoff hockey. If you don't think you'd like it, I just ask you to sit down with a cold beverage and watch the next game 7 of a hockey series and if you don't tell me it wasn't exciting, I'll stare directly into your eyes and tell you have no soul.

It would be much more exciting than watching LeBron get pounded by 38 points by the Pistons 4 times in a row. (that is...unless you're Jim)

Stomach Punch Game: V. 3.0

OK, so the Wizards are finally out of it. Completely. Season Over. I feel like something terrible just happened, and now we have to have a candle-light vigil or something to try to get some closure about what happened. Let's remember the series that was.

What I did NOT appreciate about this series:

1.) We Lost 3 Games by 1 Point! 2 of them in overtime! Ouch! Even more ouch was the fact that in these last 2 overtimes, the Wizards hit BIG SHOTS to force the OTs, which is like injecting a heroin-needle full of hope, only to find out when we lost that the herion was fake, and our hope was in vain. This really hurts.

And no, I have not tried herion.

2.) Lebron James is a freaking girl. He literally cries, whines, and mopes every single time he is called for a foul. The way he makes it out, he has never fouled anyone. Lebron, YOU HAVE! YOU ARE A BABY! GET COUNSELING!

Oh and I did some research: Right before Gilbert attempted his 2nd free throw in OT (both of which, he missed), Lebron James came up to Gilbert and said something. I was dying to know what he said. So I found out from the horses mouth....Lebron said, "I told him that if he misses this free throw, then the game is over." Gilbert said that Lebron said something like, "If you miss this shot, you KNOW who is hitting the game-winner." (I dont think he meant Damon Jones, but whatever). Either way, one thing is crystal clear right now: Lebron James is a BIG, IMMATURE JERK!

Also, I just read Wilbon's article, and he said that after Gilbert missed these 2 free throws, Lebron went back to the bench and told his teammates that Gilbert was a "(bleeping) wimp". You know what I think?!? Lebron James is a (bleeping) JERK!!!!!

3.) I don't particularly like Mike Brown.

4.) The Officials made some BAD calls, and then missed some major ones. We are talking about 3 games that could have had a different outcome if things were called correctly. I know the officials miss things, but this was ridiculous.

5.) The TNT breakdown of highlights was like 80% Lebron James, 10% Cleveland Cavs, and 10% Wizards. The Wizards have a 2 time all-star too.

OK, Now let's get on to the positive. Things I DID appreciate about the series.

1.) I love the Wizards. I love Gilbert Arenas, Jamison, & Butler. We really fought in this series, and even after the games we lost, I was never like super-pissed-off at any of our players (except for Billy Thomas, that is...why is he even on our team?). Butler showed a lot of toughness. Gilbert missed those two big free throws, but you couldn't blame him since he had half our points. Jamison nailed some 3 pointers. All in all, very good effort. Had some of the calls gone differently, we may be playing Detroit right now.

2.) The emergence of Jared Jeffries. In the past, I would have considered JJ dead weight. Not anymore. In this series, he proved that he has a place on this team, and in this league. Dude was responsible for guarding Lebron James, and did a very good job. In my opinion, he has the potential to become a Bruce Bowen/Tayshaun Price-style lockdown defender, except he is 6'11. He can guard 4 positions on the floor. He is a restricted free agent this summer, and the Wiz should do what they can to keep him in the fold. He is valuable.

3.) Our core is good. We have a bright future. We do need to add some pieces though. This offseason, there are numerous big men available, through the draft and free agency. I'd like to see us add a front line center, or draft Patrick O'Bryant. Yo, and we need some defense. They should definitely work on that in the preseason.

4.) Lebron James. Even though he is a jerk, he is a really amazing athlete. He hit some impossible shots (I'm not talking about those lay-ups), and really elevated his team. He hit a few turn around jumpers that were simply unguardable and amazing. I hate his guts, but I have to admit he's good. It's like the end of Anchorman where Wes Mantooth says, "At the bottom of my gut, with every inch of me, I plain, straight hate you. But dammit, do I respect you!"

5.) The fact that the Cavs will lose to the Pistons in 4 games.

6.) The hard foul by Brendan Haywood on Lebron James. That was the first time I can ever remember being happy that Brendan is on our team. This will go down as one of my favorite memories of the series. Maybe I'm spiteful.

All in all, a very competitive series. I hope the Wiz bounce back and do great next year. I pray we somehow get better. Thanks for all your hard work. Gilbert, I know you are back in the gym already, working on your free throws. Thanks for showing so much heart and determination! You are a great player and I'm so glad that you are on our team and that I get to root for you.