Hyping the Overhyped

We've had a lot of Wizards and O's posts lately, so I'm going to mix it up and give my two cents on some other insanely over-talked sports stories making their way through the mass media hype-osphere, and try to write my way on to tomorrow's SportsCenter.
Here we go:

1. The Reggie Bush "scandal". Ok, it's not a scandal, but there is some shady stuff going on. I personally think that the villain in this is not Bush's parents, or Bush, but the pseudo-ex-agent guy who's house they stayed in. My guess is that he schmoozed the parents into agreeing to stay there and that they'll work out rent later, assuring them that there is no violation going on or nothing serious will happen. He was hoping this all would slide under the radar by the time Reggie got drafted and then sign him and make his payday. Now, because of Yahoo! Sports' Carmen Sandiego-like sleuth reporting (I like how all media outlets have to include the exlamation point when crediting Yahoo!), the master plan has been foiled, right before the draft. Now the agent guy has to cover his tracks and sue the parents, probably knowing now that Reggie will get another agent and needs his payday some other way. He seems like a sleazeball who's been yanking around the Bush's, and hopes to pin it on them, which might happen. Personally, I would still draft Reggie #1. Although, I hope he slides all the way down to #53 because of this scandal so the Redskins can draft him.

2. Nash for MVP? I seriously hope this is wrong (it's still labeled as a "report", so I guess that means we should only listen to it if it's correct). If Nash wins it, that will be back to back MVP's for a short, white, Canadian with scraggly hair. In today's NBA? That's a wowzer. I don't think Nash should be the MVP. Yes, he was very valuable to the Suns, who were without Stoudemire, but he is lacking in some key areas, namely defense, as he is an atrocious defender and gets beat more times than Peyton Manning in a playoff game. Plus, I think there's another player who helped his team exceed expectations more than Nash. And that's Kobe. The Mamba. 81 points. Where would the Lakers finish in the West without Kobe? You could make a case they'd finish last. But what about Phil Jackson, you ask? Is he the one to credit the Lakers' success? Well, I don't think Jackson would have even been hired if the Lakers didn't have Kobe. Kobe's value makes the Lakers think before the season started that they could be competitive and can pay Phil his money to make a playoff run AND rebuild at the same time. They have Lamar Odom and a bunch of scrubs without Kobe. Kobe should be MVP and you'll see why when he beats the Suns in their playoff series.

3. Brett Favre is coming BACK? You've got to be joking...right Brett? Don't get me wrong, I love Brett Favre. And don't get me wrong again, I don't love him in that way. But I love the way Brett Favre played back in his prime, and his back to back MVP seasons were breathtaking. He was the ultimate gunslinger and competitor and I idolized him, and you should have too. But that, sadly, was 10 years ago. Now, after a season where he tossed somewhere in the vicinity of 76 interceptions, he's coming back for more as a shell of his old self. And after thinking about why he's coming back for a while, I've decided it's for one reason and one reason only. Not to win another Lombardi, but to pass Dan Marino in career touchdown passes. Right now, he needs 25 TD's to break it and, in his mind, that should be one more season of work for him. After hearing all his ego-driven quotes this off-season like "what are they going to do, let me go?", this makes sense to me. If the Packers are healthy, they could make the playoffs, but they certainly won't win it all, we all know that and Brett knows that. But he wants the ultimate ego championship, the individual TD record. And he just may get it. Congrats Brett, I hope Packers fans will appreciate you for holding up their rebuilding process while attaining your record.


Oh, and Wizards by 4 tonight.

LeBron Who?

Yeah that's right. I said LeBron who. Which is what the Wizards said last night as they stifled the Cavs and stole home court advantage in LeBron's first playoff series. And just when everyone was frothing at the mouth about how LeBron is, basically, Jesus Christ. After game 1, it seemed like every media outlet was saying the same three things about this series: LeBron is the next Jordan and Magic combined, the Wizards will be lucky to get 20 points the rest of the series, and LeBron will be the first player to get a quadruple double. OK media, have you settled down now? Good.

I was watching the game at Jim's last night and when it got down to under a minute left and the Cavs were down 5 or so, I was saying that if we were playing Michael Jordan, there's no doubt he would somehow pull this game out, maybe with a 4-point play or something. LeBron, however, doesn't seem ready to do that yet. It's still way too early for him to take the throne. I'm not saying that he won't be there someday, but let's just hold off on the hype until he has, oh, about 2 championships or so. Then maybe we can start discussing his Hall of Fame status. All he is right now is a 21 year old really good basketball player with one playoff win and a suspect crunch time resume. He's like a young Jedi who's still in training. We know he has the skill, possibly the most out of anyone, but he needs refinement and experience. And we also don't know if he's an Obi Won, a Luke, or an Anikan (although, I think you can make a case Kobe is the Anakin of the NBA. Or maybe even the Darth Vader).

As we saw last night, his late game heroics were a little lacking. He chucked up some 3's at the end of the game and missed. Then, after Billy "Prime Time" Thomas missed two crucial free throws and kept the game at one possession, LeBron brought the ball down and instead of making a play himself, he dished to Anderson "Sideshow" Varejao, who totally botched it.

So, as Jim predicted before I could, I think the series will still end in 6 in the Wizards' favor, but since I can't pick 6, I'll pick 5. Yes LeBron will most likely have one or two more great games in this series, but if the Cavs get down, count them out. And if another game comes down to the wire, I'm glad I have Gilbert Arenas on my team, and not LeBron.

Ray of Hope

Cheesy title, I know...

So Chris Ray is 6 for 6 for the Orioles thus far in his first season as the Oriole's closer. He wrapped up his latest save this past week against the New York Yankees, by striking out both Alex Rodriguez (I've been writing A Rod for so long, I almost forgot how to spell "Rodriguez". I had to Google that sucker...) on 4 straight pitches, and Hideki Matsui (HiMat), who he got swinging on a 3-2 slider. A 3-2 SLIDER! EAT THAT SUCKA-FOOL!

So the Orioles are sitting pretty in the Ninth Inning with the game on the line. It feels good to know you have a good closer, despite losing last year's closer (All Star BJ Ryan)to free agency.

Said Ray: "I just try to take these SUCKA-FOOLS down. 3 Straight, 4 straight. It don't matter. I'll brush these fools back with the inside heat and the suckas won't even know what day it is. Beej got me ready for this gig, so I have tip my hat to the old Beejer, even though he is a money-loving whore without a soul. No I'm just kidding. BEEJ, if you are reading this, I do admit that you have a soul, it's just very black. Anyway, back to me. I just try to SUCKA punch these FOOLS, until they bleed. And I'm not talking about external bleeding that can be fixed with a band-aid. I'm talking about the internal kind that you really don't even know about until it is too late, and fool is being carted off in the meatwagon."

When asked about his intense morbid thought processes, Ray responed: "When you are in this league, SUCKAFOOLS are trying to TAKE YOU DOWN! They want BLOOD and the SMELL FEAR! It's KILL or BE-KILLED! AND I AIN'T EVEN FRONTIN'. Now, if you want to talk about inspiration, then OK! Favorite movies: Number 1: Blacula, and Number 2: Scream Blacula Scream (..aka, Blacula II...aka, Blacula is Beautiful...aka, Blacula Lives Again!...aka, The Name is Blacula), Number 3: Vampire in Brooklyn."