The Sports Eaters

Joe Gibbs to Ride off into the Sunset

2008-01-08T11:40:00.000-05:00

Remember this blog?? Reading the previous posts was like a walk down memory lane. A time when kids played with toy trains and movies only cost a nickel. I still can't believe I spent a nickel on Transporter 2. I was foolish back in those days.

Anyway, word on the street is Joe Gibbs is resigning as head coach of the Redskins. It's hard to believe his second run here was three years, and even harder to believe Gibbs is 162 years old and single-handedly turned the confederate troops back at Antietam.

So what does this mean for the future of the Skins? They finally put together a respectable team and now they need new leadership. Who will be the new coach? Will it be Bill Cowher? Brian Billick? Will Smith (he's good in anything)?

Tourney Talk

2007-03-05T14:31:00.000-05:00

Since it's almost my favorite time of the year (tourney time), I figured I'd get back into posting as much as I can. So prepare yourself for a heavy dose of Skretchosify (rhymes with philosify) over the next few weeks.

Here are a few NCAABB thoughts heading into tourney time (men's only, of course):

1. Since the game yesterday, everyone and their momma has been talking about the Hansbrough bloody nose "incident". Brace yourself for at least 3 more days of non-stop media coverage of this, including SportsCenter lead-ins and interviews, Duke/UNC "rivalry re-newed" columns, and top 10 bloody nose lists. I have 3 thoughts. First, Roy Williams should have had Hansbrough out of the game at the 1-minute mark, where the lead was around 15 points. I know he said he was trying to get him out of the game, but that was with 14 seconds left, why so late?? The game was a foul fest in the last minute and there was plenty of opportunity to sit the starters. Bad move by Roy. Second, Hansbrough had it coming. The only reasons he was trying to get an offensive rebound and put back with 14 seconds left in a 13 point game are either to pad his stats or to rub in the victory. I've read some writers say "it's in his DNA to go hard after every ball and score every play...blah, blah, blah". If so, he's just a robot and that will eventually come back to bite him, if this game hasn't already done that (he now has a broken nose). You can't just be a robot on the court and be successful, you have to play hard AND play smart. The smart play there is to get the offensive rebound and throw it back out to the perimeter to run the clock out. Like I said, he's either padding his stats or rubbing in the win, both which deserve a forearm shiver to the nose. Thirdly, Duke sucks.

2. Fear the Turtle. The Terps are, quite possibly, the hottest team in the entire country right now. 7 straight ACC victories, 3 wins over Duke and UNC, and a ton of confidence. So now the age-old question is...should we hope to lose in the ACC tourney?? Because of Duke's failure to beat UNC, the Terps don't get a first round bye in the ACC tourney. That means, to win it, they need to win 4 games in 4 days against premiere teams in the best conference in the nation, turning their legs into a soft, jelly-like substance of exhaustion. This, right before the Big Dance, would not be the ideal situation. So, how do you deal with this if you're Gary Williams? How do you react to this as a fan? Here are some pros and cons of winning all four games:
Pros:
-Win another ACC tournament title, only done once before by MD in 2004
-Continue the momentum of a 7 game winning streak heading into the Big Dance (with an 11 game winning streak)
-Continue to gel and work on offensive game strategy and gain experience for younger players
-Help seeding for tourney
Cons:
-Get tired and burn out
-Peak too early and have a bad game in the big tourney
-Someone gets injured

A few other reasons why it might be better to lose early is to get another chip on their shoulder to prove an early round exit will not happen in the big one. Also, when Maryland won it all, they lost early in the ACC tournament, not that that really matters this year's team, but I'm just sayin.

As a fan, here's what I hope for. They have to beat Miami in the first round (and avenge a horrible loss at home). Then, I hope they play hard against BC and hope to avenge their loss against them as well. If they lose, so be it, BC is a good team and they will have almost a week to rest before the tourney. If we win, that's another good "resume win" for seeding purposes, and could also help us. The next game is the one that I would not be opposed at all to losing. Now, I'm not saying they should tank it, but if they find themselves down 15 in the first half, I don't think they should kill themselves to get back in the game. Again, I'm not "rooting" for them to lose, I'm just hoping for a scenario that will help them keep momentum, stay respectable, and put them in the best position to win it all.

And yes...don't think Maryland can't win it all...

The Madness begins

2007-03-01T12:25:00.000-05:00

For those of you stuck at work for the first two days of the tourney, go to this link and watch all the games on your computer:
http://www.ncaasports.com/mmod?year=2007

As for me...I've already put in the vacation request for March 15th and 16th.

We SOOOO Own Duke

2007-03-01T09:43:00.000-05:00

That's all I'm saying. Tourney time is just around the corner, baby!

We OWN Duke

2007-02-12T11:42:00.000-05:00

"They played with amazing energy, especially at the start of the game," Krzyzewski said. "The crowd, their team ... our team hasn't experienced that level of energy this season and it knocked us back."

I feel the energy. We're getting in the tourney this year.

Agent Zero: The Hope Killer

2007-01-16T16:09:00.000-05:00

You cannot stop him. You cannot even hope to contain him. The only thing you can do is....watch and die.

Superbowl Prediction

2007-01-15T15:24:00.000-05:00

Hello Team,

Here's my prediction for how this whole NFL Playoff picture will shake out.

Saints Vs Bears - I think the Saints will win. I don't think Rex Grossman is a good quarterback (nor does anyone else). Sure they have a good defense, but I think Deuce and Reggie will wear them down, and pull out the victory. The Saints have too many weapons.

Patriots Vs. Colt - I think the Patriots will win this one. Indy/Manning always chokes in the playoffs, and I don't believe this year will be any different.

Patriots vs. Saint - I think the Saints will win, and America will celebrate.

Love,
Jim

Prepare Thyself for the Baltimore Brawl

2007-01-12T14:09:00.000-05:00

If your a Ravens fan, you understand that it's rather impossible to predict how those blackbirds will do in the offseason. I don't remember any sports writer talking about the Ravens being legitimate Super Bowl candidates. I know I didn't think so. But even the biggest Raven hater, (hi Petralia!), has to admit that they have a good shot now.

But there's a few teams in their way. And one of them is a ghost from the past, and not the friendly type. The Colts have returned, and some would say they've brought their own Johnny Unitas. As if the Ravens needed another reason to step up their brutal brand of defense.

You better believe this is going to be the loudest, craziest stadium crowd the city of Baltimore has ever experienced. Will Peyton Manning be able to keep his cool and get his offense rolling? Or will he be decapitated by a berserking Ray Lewis. Either way, it will be great to see the best quarterback wage war against the best defense.

And sure the Colts did beat the Ravens earlier this year. But that wasn't in Baltimore during the playoffs. And let's not forget that the Ravens play better when they are fueled by an intense and murderous rage. That loss to the Colts is going to work in their favor as it's heightened their bloodlust for a most vengeful punishing.

Will the Colts win? My prediction is: No. The real question is, should children be allowed to watch?

Worst. Game. Ever.

2007-01-11T10:12:00.000-05:00

Me and Jason went to the Terps hoops game last night. We both agreed it was the worst Terps performance we have ever witnessed. No Terp player made more than 3 field goals, and 7 players only made 1. There was a stretch where we missed about 12 layups in a row. It was like a Globetrotters line, where everyone throws it hard off the backboard to the next in line, but in this case nobody dunked it at the end. Everyone had a bad game. Even Boom Osby had a bad game. If I were Gary Williams, this would be the extent of my post game speech: "We will never, ever, ever, EVER speak of this game again."

Ouch.

2007-01-09T10:32:00.000-05:00

For content of this post, please refer back to the title.

That is all I have to say.

(cries in the corner)

Huff the Magic Dragon

2007-01-04T09:35:00.000-05:00

No this isn't about pot smoking. I pass on grass, all the time. This post is in response to something that doesn't happen every day. The Orioles signed a decent everyday offensive player. No, they didn't bring back David Newhan. I'm talking about Aubrey Huff.

I knew it. I just heard you sigh. You guys are so settled on the O's being losers that instead of being excited you just muttered, "Great, another guy who's going no place but down". I'll confess I thought that as well, but really he should be fine here. Why do I harbor such hope?

When Huff played for the Devil Rays, he was their only power source. He was relied on to do much, and you have to give him credit, he performed well for a couple years. But I think the pressure, and not having anyone else protecting him in the lineup got to him. He played part of the year in Houston last year, but he was facing pitchers he's never even heard of before, so we can look past that.

Huff himself said at his press conference yesterday that the Orioles lineup is very likely the best he's ever been in. Yeah, I spit out my drink too. But take a look for yourself.

1. Brian Roberts 2B
2. Melvin Mora 3B
3. Nick Markakis RF
4. Miguel Tejada SS
5. Aubrey Huff LF
6. Ramon Hernandez C
7. Jay Gibbons DH
8. Kevin Millar 1B
9. Corey Patterson/Jay Payton CF

That's not too shabby. When you combine this new and improved offense with our overhauled bullpen and improving starting rotation you get: ...at least a .500 ball club. I mean really, anything less than that would be pretty disappointing. And before you say so what to being .500, just remember the Orioles haven't done that in almost 10 years.

So there you have it. Further proof that this is indeed the year of the Oriole. You should celebrate in style. Go buy yourself a Huff jersey before they get too expensive.

Merry Christmas Denver!

2006-12-20T13:39:00.000-05:00

Frank, How's this for scary?

I'm just kidding.

So Denver won the 2006 Iverson Trade Competition, giving up the most to be able to get the 2nd leading scorer in the NBA, while not destroying their future prospects.

(Note about the previous sentence: Sorry, I should really plan out sentences in advance before I start typing. I have a funny idea in my head of how that sentence was supposed to go, but its not nearly as funny as I had hoped it would be.)

In any regard, the Denver Nuggets now own the 2 leading scores in the NBA right now (one of whom is suspended for a bunch of games for slapping Mardy Collins, and then running away). (Carmelo, Jared Jeffries wants to beat you up. What are you going to DO, when the J-Train is coming after YOU!??!?!?)

Congradulations Denver. You may now compete for the NBA Championship.

And seriously...I'm sorry for not doing a Mr. 60 post...I had a picture and everything...

Well...

2006-12-19T10:01:00.000-05:00

...maybe this image would be worse:

This has nothing to do with sports...

2006-12-14T09:53:00.000-05:00

but seriously, is this not the worst possible image you could see before you die?
If you can find a more terrifying "moment of death" image, I'd like to see it.

AI Watch

2006-12-12T12:56:00.000-05:00

IVERSON WATCH!

Philadelphia 76er's star, and former league MVP, Allen Iverson has asked to be traded. He's pissed about his team sucking. And who could blame him? Billy King is a complete moron at running this team. THIS IS BIG NEWS!!! I'm like glued to ESPN.com right now. I checked the site before i went to bed last night, and when I got up this morning. Obviously, I have a problem. The only answer: THE ANSWER.

The Question? Where is Iverson going?

Several teams have lined up to get a deal done:

The Warriors are reported as the front-runners, with the Celtics a close second. The Kings have also expressed interest.

A deal was almost in place with the Bobcats, but that fell apart once word got out that AI would not be happy in Charlotte.

The Timberwolves might also be an interesting option, because people think AI and Kevin Garnett would complement eachother well.....however they do not have the peices to get it done. The Sixers really want Randy Foye though.

If he were to go to the Warriors, they would almost have to include Monta Ellis. The Celtics would have to include Al Jefferson in any deal, and the Kings have offered Mike Bibby and Kenny Thomas for AI.

Denver also wants a crack at AI, offering Nene, and JR Smith.

The Sixers were hoping to get this deal done quickly. They have lost 9 straight, not that that has anything to do with anything. The fact is that they suck. And they suck worse without AI. They will continue to suck. They may get the number 1 pick next year, and try to get Greg Oden...hopefully he won't like college too much and decide to stay there.

I think he will end up with the Celtics, and then the Celtics will win the Atlantic Division.

FRANK - Iverson is so tough...he's not afraid of your shark.

This is the O's Year

2006-12-11T14:39:00.000-05:00

It's been a while since I posted, but I've heard the grumblings. The O's have overpaid for all these relievers. Like a man trying to cross-breed a dog and a parrot, how foolish!

Well, hold on a second. I don 't think either of those things are foolish. A talking, flying dog would rock. And the O's had to do this. You know that if they didn't sign those guys all the talk would be "The O's never do what it takes to get solid players". We've heard that every year. And now they pay big money to the best free agent relievers to bolster their biggest weakness and we hear "Those O's are wasting money. They should have spent it elsewhere."

Well the truth is, there is no elsewhere. All those big bats you wanted, we offered them big money too, and they turned us down. Now we're looking for them in a trade. Meanwhile our bullpen with Jamie Walker, Danys Baez, Chad Bradford, Scott Williamson, and let's not forget Chris Ray is looking pretty dynamite. Do you think a dynamite bullpen might help a young pitching staff which is supposed to be our future? You better believe it. Do you think spending big money on these guys shows the market and other players that the O's are serious about competing? Most definitiously!

No doubt about it. They spent a ton, but it was a must do! They had the money to burn anyway. They still do. I think it's a great move. We'll have to see how it plays out.

BCS vs. Playoffs

2006-12-05T11:15:00.000-05:00

I'm posting in response to Eric's last comment in his post below where he said that he's not defending the BCS, but it at least "led to some stellar matchups...which is what everyone wants". While I know he's not defending the BCS (because if he did, I would have to catch the next flight to Ohio and punch him in the face), I do have to take a stance against the whole "stellar matchups" argument. Here I go...

Yes, the BCS has led to some great games, but if there were an 8 team playoff throughout December (instead of this gigantic 4 week break before the bowl games) then you would have a smorgasbord of great matchups. Just feast your eyes on the following possible playoff scenario with the top 8 BCS teams:

First round - OSU vs. Boise St, Florida vs. Wisconsin, Michigan vs. Louisville, LSU vs. USC
Second round - OSU vs. USC, Florida vs. Michigan
Final round - any possibility would be a "stellar matchup", with some extremely stellar matchups.

So, if this playoff took place, and the best teams advanced, you would solve the question of "who is better between Florida and Michigan", and USC would take on OSU anyway, which a lot of people think would be the best matchup. This also creates, in my eyes, four "Monster Matchups", which everyone will want to see. These four would be USC/LSU, OSU/USC, Fla/Mich, and the title game. What football fan would not drool all over their oatmeal to watch those games? (and yes, I just happen to be eating oatmeal right now)

One counter argument Eric may be thinking right now is: "but Frank, what if Boise St. beats Ohio St. and these stellar matchups don't ever happen?"

You might think that's a good point Eric, but think again, hot shot. If that happened, it would prove that Ohio State would not be deserving of a national title in the same way that the BCS today thinks USC is not deserving of a national title by losing to the much crappier UCLA. If Ohio State is a great team, they will win that game, just like Michigan and Florida will. Also, you would much rather see Michigan lose to Louisville in the first round than having a "stellar matchup". You wouldn't give a flying flapjack who you beat for a national title.

To the average fan that has no team in the playoffs, such as me, would I rather see a OSU/Mich final than OSU/Louisville? Probably. But I'd also love to see Louisville upset Michigan AND OSU for a national title. It would be the cinderella story of the year, and a cinderella story is what college football is missing without a playoff. When George Mason pulled off it's Final Four run and beat UConn, did anyone think that they were actually better than UConn? No, but it was awesome to watch and I will remember that game probably for the rest of my life.

With that said, a playoff would more than likely still create more "stellar matchups" than the current BCS system. And if it doesn't, it will still provide drama. Too bad the only way it will happen is if the university presidents agree to change. I hope they're all reading this right now.

Some Random Thoughts

2006-12-04T12:10:00.000-05:00

Its been awhile since I posted, so here is an assortment (or a collection, if you will) of thoughts I'd like to share...

1. Bucks still #1. Michigan, quit yer whinin'. You had your chance. Now go beat USC and bring some pride to the Big Ten.
2. The OSU-Florida game will be awesome. If the Bucks win, they will be the first team to ever beat three #2 teams in the same season. Just thought you should know.
3. The Terps basketball team is quietly 8-1, with wins over St. John's, Michigan St., Illinois, and some dangerous mid-majors in Winthrop and Vermont. The loss came yesterday in a horrible game against Notre Dame. Next big game is Sunday against BC. The jury is still out on whether this team will be "special" or just plain "good" but either way, an NCAA tourney bid is locked up. And if you haven't seen him, Boom Osby rules.
4. The O's made some moves. Jim, I want another column.
5. Its freaking cold in Ohio today.
6. The Bengals are looking good for the playoffs. Sorry about your luck with the Skins.
7. The boss just came by, I gotta go.

Um...

2006-12-04T10:18:00.000-05:00

Should I just go ahead and delete my last post? Nah, they're still mathematically in it!

The UndeadSkins

2006-11-27T11:41:00.000-05:00

Go figure. Just when you think the Redskins are cooked and well-done, they win. With a sure loss against the Panthers staring them in the face, they put out their best defensive effort of the season, along with a Campbell to Cooley lightning strike, to give them a big W. Just like how everyone wrote them off against the Jaguars and the Cowboys. Yet, when a "sure win" is on the schedule, the Skins fall flat on their face, ie: Tennessee, Tampa Bay. In the edited words of Tony K., "What the heck is going on here??!!"

So the question I now ask myself is this: can they make the playoffs??

Go ahead, call me a blind homer. Call me crazy. Or loony. Or combine the two and call me croony (or lazy, which would fit me quite well). I would not object to any of those adjectives. But what I will object to is if you didn't at least entertain the idea of a playoff push by the Skins. If you haven't entertained this idea, you have not taken a look at the NFC standings. Let's take a look, shall we?

Ok, the Skins are 4-7, still last in the division, with no chance of winning it. But, grabbing a Wildcard spot is still very much in the picture. Right now, the two teams who have the Wildcard spots are the Giants and the Panthers. Guess what? Their records are only 6-5 with the Giants looking horrible and the Skins holding a tie-breaker over the Panthers. The other teams that are in contention with 5-6 records goes as follows:
Eagles (no McNabb, put a fork in them)
Falcons (spiraling downward with 4 straight losses)
St. Louis (lost last 5 of 6)
49ers (who are they kidding)
Vikings (the only team I'm worried about because they beat us, but they're not exactly the Colts)

Now, remember last year? The Skins ended the regular season on a 5-game win streak. If (and it's a big if) they do the same thing this year, I think they will definitely get a Wildcard spot with a record of 9-7. But I think if they win 4 of 5, they still have a good shot at getting in with an 8-8 record and it probably will come down to tie-breakers. If we take a look at the remaining schedule, we play 3 of those 5-6 teams and, if we beat them, can hold tie-breakers over the Falcons, Rams, and Eagles. We would probably have to hope the Vikings and 49ers finish at 7-9 or worse, which is like hoping the Orioles will finish the season under .500...it's a mortal lock. And this is just if the Skins finish 8-8. I think it's possible to run the table the rest of the way. Our remaining schedule has 3 out of 5 games at home and it goes like this: vs. Falcons, vs. Eagles, at Saints, at Rams, vs. Giants. We are playing awesome at home, so I am expecting to win all three against the Falcons, Eagles, and Giants. That leaves us with one semi-tough game against the Rams and one mega-tough game against the Saints. Can we do it? I don't know, but I am saying it's possible.

All of this, of course, is in the hopes that when my wife asks if I can skip the Skins game to go to a flea-market festival on some Sunday in the future, I can say "I can not skip they game, the Skins are still mathematically in it!"

O's Update

2006-11-18T02:31:00.000-05:00

Before I go into my O's offseason news, I wanted to point out one of those weird things that happened to me this week. It's pretty remarkable, if you ask me.

So I've really been into this new show called "Heroes" that comes on NBC. It's about people who have super-powers. I was watching this past week's episode which featured the character "Chandra Suresh" who is this geneticist who is killed in like the first episode. I recognized him. It was kind of like Deja Vu. Then I placed him...

Earlier in his career, the actor known as Erick Avari, who plays Chandra Suresh on "Heroes", was in a little movie called "Encino Man" where he played a conveniece store clerk. There was this one scene when Pauly Shore is leaning under the slurpee machine and he says something like "I just wanted to weeze a little ju-ooce" followed by one of Avari's most defining lines of his entire career: "No WEEZING THE JA-OOCE!" Classic moment in American Cimena. It will always stay with me.

...And on to the O's. They've made two moves thus far this offseason; trading RP Chris Britton to the Yankees for SP Jaret Wright. Then they overpaid for more relief help, agreeing to terms to Jamie Walker, RP from the Tigers.

Since you guys don't get ESPN's Insider...I'm going to update you on everything I've heard as it related to O's and free agents. Carlos Lee (who's fat), Mark Mulder (who's coming off of surgery), Mike Stanton, Alfonso Soriano (but not at the price he's being listed at), Justin Speier, Adam Eaton, Luis Gonzalez (he's 40!), & Danys Baez. Gee, it looks like they might be trying to pad their bullpen, which was the 2nd worst in the majors last year! Interesting moves by the Duquette!

They may be looking to make some trades too. Anyway, the O's will still suck next year. It's nice to see them trying though.

I'm calling OSU Over Michigan tomorrow.

Go Terps

2006-11-09T12:13:00.000-05:00

The Terps are back! And with a record of 2-0, have more wins than any other team in the NCAA!

This 2006-2007 team looks nothing like the teams from the past two years. Two freshmen point guards who (1) actually know how to play the position and (2) listen to Gary Williams have shown flashes of brilliance. When was the last time Maryland had a point guard who had 0 points and 8 assists in one game? Not that the PGs can't score, but they already know that their job is to get the ball into someone's hands to take a high percentage shot.

Additionally, the flow of the Terps offense has changed. Players like Mike Jones and Ekene Ibekwe are passing up shots they would have taken last year to make the extra pass. Granted, the two Terps victories were not against ACC foes and the freshmen PGs are not anywhere near perfect, but the team's play has been very encouraging.

And of course, they have BOOM! Osby.

Attn: Stingrays.

2006-10-20T12:42:00.000-04:00

Hello.

So in response to this, I have a few choice words for all the stingrays out there.

HEY STINGRAYS! YOU DO NOT DO THAT! YOU DO NOT COME IN TO OUR HOUSE, JUMP ONTO OUR BOATS, AND PULL THIS KIND OF STUFF! THAT IS STRIKE 2! ONE MORE INCIDENT, AND THEN YOU KNOW WE ARE COMING DOWN THERE! WE ARE GOING TO GET BILL MURRAY, THE REMAINING CAST OF SEAQUEST, STEVE IRWIN'S DAUGHTER, AND THE THREE DUDES FROM JAWS, AND THEY WON'T BE COMING BACK UNTIL THEY'VE TIED YOU TO A CHAIR, AND WHALED ON YOUR FLIPPERS FOR AT LEAST A 45-MINUTE TIMESPAN! YOU ARE GOING TO WISH THAT YOU DIDN'T PULL THIS STUFF IN OUR HOUSE! YOU MAY ASK, "What does this have to do with sports?" AND LET ME TELL YOU; YOU KEEP PULLING THIS STUFF, AND YOU ARE GOING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS WHEN PEOPLE TRY TO PULL THIS KIND OF STUFF IN OUR HOUSE!

Sincerly,

James Michael Thompson, JR.

The Cardinals are who we thought they were

2006-10-19T13:57:00.000-04:00

The Bears/Cards game was awesome not only because I picked the Bears in my weekly NFL Survivor pool, (which means I would have been eliminated if they lost, phew), but because Jessy actually was interested in the game.

The game was the first football game she actually watched to the end without requesting to see if Design Star is on. Her quote from an email: "If you didn't have me rooting for da Bears for you, I probably would've been heartbroken for those little cardinals."

I feel like I'm getting somewhere with her...

That Cardinals collapse may have been awesome, but this clip is even awesomer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1h71vEQtCM

What does Dennis Green remind you of more: a troll, dwarf, turtle, or Yoda? Or maybe you can post your own option in the comments.

Quick predicts: The Mets will win tonight 8-6, pitting me and my Mets against Tom and Dave and their Tigers in the World Series. The Skins/Colts game will be decided by a field goal. Don't count the Skins out this weekend, remember the Jacksonville game? And remember the Colts only beat the Titans by 1 point two weeks ago? Exactly.

Midseason Report: Bucks Still #1

2006-10-10T16:51:00.000-04:00

I wrote this summer about Ohio State's brutal schedule in September, with away games at Iowa and Texas with a home game against Penn St. in between. And they made it through unscathed, standing a perfect 6-0. They even dodged the Garrett Wolfe bullet and "only" gave up 170 yards to a guy that's barely taller than Frank. And I mean that as a compliment.

So its the middle of the season, and thankfully the injuries are relatively low in number and severity (too bad Michigan can't say the same thing). What does the second half of the season hold? An away game at Michigan St. (never to be taken lightly, I don't care what they've done this season) is kind of like an away game at Georgia Tech. It will be an ugly slugfest for sure. Other remaining games on the Big Ten schedule are of less interest: Northwestern, Indiana, Illinois...yawn.

That is, until the date with destiny in Columbus, Ohio. And by destiny I mean the Team Up North. There's a good chance both teams will be undefeated coming into that game, meaning I would definitely have to make a road trip and tailgate outside the 'Shoe. I don't want to look to far ahead and give predictions on that game yet, but man-oh-man does it look good.

So that's it on the Buckeye front for now, lets just hope to escape East Lansing with a win and our starters intact, and then get ready for the showdown in November.

(And no, I'm not going to comment on OSU's demolition of Bowling Green last week, other than to say someone bought me a beer because I was the only person wearing a BG shirt in the entire sports bar. Let's just say I was glad I had already ordered a tall instead of a small)

Quit Yer Whinin

2006-10-06T16:35:00.000-04:00

Jim, I'm breaking your streak of four consecutive posts. You'll have to start another one.

Let's talk about the Redskins some more. Aren't sports fans the most over-reactive, over-analytical fickleheads ever? How many Redskins fans did you hear groaning that the season was over after our first two games? All of them. Everywhere you went you heard "Brunell is done" and "Al Saunders is an overpaid chump" and "Jim Thompson eats Lemonheads", etc. Well now what are you hearing after that scorching "Moss-fensive" performance against the Jags? "Pick up Brunell on your fantasy team" and "Saunders hasn't even cracked page 200 of his 700 page playbook, watch out!" and "Jim Thompson eats Charleston Chews".

I mean, just let the season progress and don't over-react. When the Redskins become mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, you can then punch an aquarium, but until then just enjoy the games and cheer with all your might. This, of course, does not apply to Raiders fans. Your season is officially over. Thanks for playing.

By the way, I predicted back in July that the Skins would be 2-2 at this point. Just sayin.

Another Reason Why Gilbert Arenas is completely AWESOME!

2006-10-03T13:26:00.000-04:00

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=2610922

SKINS II - Who let the Hogs out? (Who, Who)

2006-10-02T12:30:00.000-04:00

Hello Friends!

It's been a week and half since my last post, and the Skins have won their last 2 games, evening their record to 2-2. Last night's overtime win vs Jacksonville is a significant win for the skins as you all know.

I watched both of these games, which is proving that when Jim watches the Skins, the skins win. Its that simple. The offense has looked awesome the past 2 games, and having Clinton Portis backs makes such a huge difference. We have so many weapons, so many ways to hurt you, its insane. I really like Chris Cooley too. He's totally good.

The Ravens also won their last 2 games, improving their record to 4-0 on the season. My question is, "How long can they keep this up?" McNair has looked OK (honestly, i have no clue how he's looked as i haven't watched any of their games). They beat San Diego, which is an impressive win too. Aaron asked me to root for the Ravens this year, but I don't even think they are my favorite team in their division, let alone the whole NFL. I like the Skins. I like Sean Taylor.

In Other Local Sports News....Appearantly, the Entire Baltimore Orioles team in on the juice...If this were true, how come they can't finish better than 4th place?

Jim

SKINS

2006-09-19T12:49:00.000-04:00

Not that I think I'm the person to be talking about this, or that this is the time to be talking about this, or even that this will create an awesome thread ala the Johnson "Hair-off" blog that Frank posted: But the Skins are 0-2.

This is obviously very dissappointing. Rather than building off the steam we had last year, we've tanked our first 2 games, and there's not much we can do but sit back and watch it all happen.

Actually, I haven't watched it all happen. I haven't watch a second of these games. My life has been very busy the past 2 weeks, and I'm just trying to hang on, like Coach Gibbs and the gang.

Speaking of which, is there a coaching staff that you'd rather have? Gibbs, Saunders and Williams. Me neither. (Bill Belichek looks like Will Ferrell's Janet Reno impression).

So I'm just writing to say I'm sorry. It's my fault we lost. I haven't watched and I know I should have. What time's the game this weekend?

Know your Wiz

2006-09-15T17:39:00.000-04:00

Hey Guys,

This is a clip that always makes me happy. Every time, without fail. It's a clip of Donell Taylor and his brother Ronell, performing the greatest basketball play I've ever seen.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hyKsOwfeXRo

Jim

#1 OSU 24, #2 Texas 7

2006-09-11T11:47:00.000-04:00

Yes, the Bucks prevailed a little easier than most people thought while in Austin on Saturday night. My impressions from the game:

The OSU defense is still somewhat shaky. But thanks to a couple timely turnovers, it will go unnoticed for another week. UT's tailbacks were slicing and dicing like a serial killer on the loose.

Colt McCoy won't be the real thing for another year at least. But when he comes into his own, watch out. We may have another Jason White on our hands! (please read that with sarcasm)

The Troy Smith - Ted Ginn pass at the end of the 1st half was beautiful. I've never seen a game-breaking play look so dang effortless.

Jim Tressel is the best coach in college football. Other people will talk about the genius of Charlie "Where's the Buffet Line" Weis or the potential of Urban Meyer's new offense. But that's all hype. Show me some wins. Show me a National Title. Show me a team who beats their archrivals consistently (4-1 vs. Michigan), wins Bowl games on New Year's Day (4-1), and can win the big game (Texas, Miami, Notre Dame, etc.). I'll take Mr. Sweatervest any day.

Troy Smith for Heisman.

Johnson Hair-off

2006-09-06T11:38:00.000-04:00

Chad Johnson's new mohawk is the most awesomest thing I could ever imagine...ever. So that got me thinking...which Johnson in his prime has better hair? Chad Johnson or Randy Johnson? I found that this decision is much too hard for one man to decide. So I'm calling for a Johnson Hair-off, where I'll leave it up to the rest of you to vote for your favorite in the comments section. Make sure that when you vote, include why you voted for the hair, how the hair inspires you, and any nicknames for the cuts. If there's a tie, I'll break it. Got it? Alright, here we go:

Johnson #1

Johnson #2

It's Okay To Post Again

2006-09-01T23:23:00.000-04:00

Thanks for giving me the spotlight for a week. But its okay to post again. I mean, we have two good pennant races entering the homestrech, college football starts (for real) tomorrow, and the NFL is finally finished with the preseason and starts next weekend. Plus we have the USA basketball team not even making the championship game at worlds.

So get a move on it, I want to see some good columns!

For my part, I've been following the Reds as they've tanked the last 6 games and are out of the wild card lead. They were tied with St. Louis for the division last week. Now they're 5 games back. Good.

I've also been into Carson Palmer. Who isn't these days? Have you ever seen a guy so determined to come back from an injury? He was excellent this week in preseason action. The Bengals are for real, and will be good for several seasons to come after re-signing another offensive lineman until 2011. Now if they could only keep Chris Henry from getting arrested.

And now, at 21 1/4 inches, weighing 6 lbs, 14 oz...

2006-08-28T21:38:00.000-04:00

We present to you, Lily Joy Schroeder.

Born 8/26/06 at 7:26pm. Get the full scoop (sometime later this week) at Jenna's Blog. We are home from the hospital and are doing well.

How Bout Those O's

2006-08-23T11:13:00.000-04:00

I know, I know, they are likely heading for a ninth straight losing season, but if you've been watching lately, and I don't blame you if you haven't, the O's are looking quite different. Have you noticed in years past how the O's stink it up the most in August and September? Do you find it odd that they've won five of their last six against the Yankees, Blue Jays and Twins? Those are good teams...

Did you notice how the starting pitching has suddenly become the O's strength? A complete game shut out by Daniel Cabrera? Adam Loewen retiring 21 straight Twins? Rodrigo Lopez limited the Yankees to two runs in seven innings? What is going on? Is the Mazzone effect kicking in?

And now the hitting is picking up as well. Remember last year when Brian Roberts was on a tear. Wasn't that great? You may not have been tuning in, but Brian is on a ten game hitting streak and has hit 5 home runs this month. And let's not forget rookie Nick Markakis. This guy hit three home runs yesterday. The first Oriole to do that since Albert Belle in 1999. And it was no fluke. He has six home runs in his last six games. These two guys are overshadowing the consistent solid hitting of Melvin Mora and Miguel Tejada.

And you can call Corey Patterson the comeback kid. And not just because he had a sweet homer last night. He's making great defensive plays, has 12 dingers, and 38 stolen bases. This is the first year in Orioles history that they have had two players with over 30 steals (thanks B-Rob!).

So what does it all mean? Is it just a hot streak? Perhaps. But what if Bedard, Cabrera and Loewen are putting it all together? What if Hayden Penn soon joins them? What if we sign one big slugger and a front line starter? Would it be enough? Could we contend?

One guy who's let his feelings be known on the issue is team star Tejada. Remember when he said he wanted to get traded because he wanted to be on a winner and didn't think the front office is doing enough to help the O's? Last night sounded a bit different. Here's what he said "It shows that next year, we don't need too much. What we need, we're getting from the young guys. They are learning and they are going to be good."

Wishful thinking? Perhaps...but maybe....just maybe...the O's will fly high again.

Believe The Hype

2006-08-22T14:49:00.000-04:00

Believe the hype: The Ohio State Buckeyes are ranked #1 in both the AP and USA Today preseason polls.

The Bucks return most of their offense with Troy Smith at quarterback, Antonio Pittman and tailback, and Ted Ginn at receiver/returner. Does it seem to you that Ginn is running at full speed while everyone else is in slow motion? Its not just your eyes tricking you - Ginn is a bona fide speedster. He ran the 8th fastest 110 hurdles time ever run by a high schooler in the USA. This dude is fast.

I really like Smith too. He's the unquestionable leader of this team.

What's more is that the offense is even loaded on the bench. Backup QB Zwick has started nearly 10 games as a Buckeye. Incoming freshman running back Chris Wells was the #1 recruit in the nation. Anthony Gonzalez would be a #1 receiver on most other teams.

It's amazing that the Bucks are getting respect for their defense even though they lost 9 starters (two linemen, all three linebackers, and all four from the secondary). The linebackers look to be easy to replace. Seriously. While Hawk, Carpenter, and Schlegel are now playing Sundays, the Bucks are set with Laurinitis (he started the Mich and ND games), Kerr (he led Indiana in tackles as a freshman before transferring) and two other guys who had significant experience last year. They'll be fine.

The secondary looks to be the most suspect, but again a couple of guys have started a few games last year, as well as an experienced nickel back. The safeties are pretty fresh, though, and I'm sure they'll be tested early.

So...looking ahead at the schedule...September looks brutal. Trips to Texas and Iowa are sandwiched around a home game against Penn St. Thankfully Iowa is the only team from this bunch who returns a quarterback. October and November will be relatively smooth, with "tough" games against Mich. St. and Northwestern before the finale in Columbus against the Team Up North.

How do I think the season is going to shake out?

Like I said, I'm glad the Bucks don't play a decent team with a returning QB until the game at Iowa. Let's hope the defense has settled in and can start taking the load off of the offense's shoulders. The night road game at Texas is obviously huge - a similar replay of last year when Texas came into Columbus with a versatile QB while the Bucks were shuffling between Zwick and Smith. This year the Bucks have Smith leading the rush and pass while Texas has a question mark at QB. I like Ohio State's chances here.

(A quick aside - you've got to love OSU and UT scheduling these games. I like it when big time programs don't hide behind a weak schedule. The Bucks have scheduled future home-and-home games with Oklahoma, USC, and Washington in upcoming seasons).

So, if the Bucks can make it through September, I think their chances of landing in Arizona in January are very good. Ohio State has never started an ended a season #1 before. Here's to this year making history.

Krunk Juice

2006-08-11T16:27:00.000-04:00

Yo Eric,

What's up witchya boy?

Seriously.

A Work of Art

2006-08-06T07:01:00.000-04:00

Before anyone ever heard of Jerry Rice, he was breaking records. He caught 106 passes in 1984 - a record that stood strong for eight seasons. The true definition of an ironman (sorry Cal - you didn't have to worry about linebackers/safeties trying to break you in half every game day), he caught passes in a record 183 consecutive games over some 11-12 years. I defy you to name any other wide receiver who led his team to four superbowls in his career - winning three of them - under three different quarterbacks. There simply are none. He never hesitated to catch the tough pass across the middle. He humbly accepted the dirty work without argument. He became the greatest wide received of all time in front of a national Monday night audience, October 12,1992. The three-time pro bowler had nine 50-reception seasons and retired as The Greatest of All Time with 940 grabs - a record he held for many years.

And here we are once again, for a fourth consecutive season, the great Art Monk is snubbed by the Hall of Fame Committee. What a shamockery. Is there any greater disgrace today in the hallowed halls of Canton? No. It's absurd and ridiculous. As I peruse the 2006 class, most I can agree with - Aikman, Moon, White, Madden, and Wright (though this one I have somewhat of an issue with - can't stand the Cowboys!). But what about Harry Carson??? Are you kidding me? A man best know for dumping gatorade on his coach and whining for many years for not getting in the Hall, he was not even the best linebacker on his own team! Actually, one could argue he was the third best behind LT (a definite Hall of Famer) and Carl Banks. He only went to one superbowl, btw. What else did this guy do? Sure he had one game with 25 tackles - not bad, but not Hall worthy - not over Art's achievements, anyway.

Hall of Fame coach Joe Gibbs even says Monk's enshrinement into the Pro Football Hall of Fame is long overdue. What can be done to address this injustice? Maybe Art should keep a sharpie in his sock when signing autographs or pour some gatorade on Gibbs to get more attention to himself? On second thought - that's just not his style. Continue to be the humble man of integrity that you are, Art.

Once again, the New York hype-media machine blows things out of proportion; there is no way Harry Carson deserves to be in the Hall above Art, especially in a year when no other wide receivers were selected. And mark my words - the likes of Tim Brown, Chris Carter, and Jerry Rice will get in the Hall before Art does. These guys are all deserving too, but Art was the G.O.A.T. well before these guys made names for themselves.

Stand up and be heard, Skins fans! For that matter, all true NFL fans should pay notice to this black mark on the game! Vote for Art Monk, class of 2007 Hall of Fame!

Experts: 'Derek Jeter Probably Didn't Need To Jump To Throw That Guy Out'

2006-08-04T12:32:00.000-04:00

From the Onion sports wire...

BRISTOL, CT—Baseball experts agreed Sunday that Derek Jeter, who fielded a routine ground ball during a regular-season game in which the Yankees were leading by five runs and then threw it to first base using one of his signature leaps, did not have to do that to record the out. "If it had been a hard-hit grounder in the hole or even a slow dribbler he had to charge, that would've been one thing," analyst John Kruk said during a broadcast of Baseball Tonight. "But when it's hit right to him by [Devil Rays first-baseman] Greg Norton, a guy who has no stolen bases and is still suffering the effects of a hamstring injury sustained earlier this year… Well, that's a different story." Jeter threw out Norton by 15 feet and pumped his fist in celebration at the end of the play.

This is for you, Jim

2006-07-31T22:26:00.000-04:00

Apparently Greg Maddux got on a plane, flew from Chicago to Los Angeles and suited up in his new Dodger duds less all within 20 minutes after the trade. Or maybe somebody thought it would be cute to give him a Dodgers hat.

Fix the O's

2006-07-29T08:35:00.000-04:00

I really don't mean to diminish the importance of Frank's "Lance Bass is Gay" blog, but I haven't posted in a week, so here we go.

With the MLB trade dealine approaching on July 31st, it's time to face the fact that our beloved Baltimore Orioles just plain suck. I believe we are one front line starter, another starter, some bullpen help, and a slugging first baseman/left fielder who isn't over 35 years old away from competing. So we are pretty close.

Nevertheless, Miggy Tejada's name has been repeatedly showing up in trade rumors. The Astros, Angels, Dodgers, Tigers and Rangers are all showing interest. The Orioles are reportedly seeking a 3 for 1 trade for Tejada, seeking young pitching, fielding, and other stuff, just as long as they are young.

As much as I hate to admit it, The Orioles probably need to trade all of their good players and start over, like the Marlins did. We need better prospects, and we need to give up on a few of our players who REALLY aren't working out. It would be admitting defeat if we did this, but...yeah...we are pretty defeated.

Here's how I'd fix the O's.

1.) Trade Miggy for good young players or prospects. He's already unhappy, and he'd bring back the most bang for our buck. I think someone will have the players to get a 3 for 1 done, and I think that's what we need to do.

2.) Promote Loewen and Penn (or send Mazzone to Ottowa to work with them exclusively). Seriously, this season is over. I mean, yeah, it may be fun to go to a few games here and there, but we seriously need to be looking to the future for the rest of this season. We need to make sure that these two guys turn out to be Greg Maddox, and John Smoltz.

3.) Get rid of Daniel Cabrera, Rodrigo Lopez, and Bruce Chen. DanCab can really throw the ball really hard, which in his case sucks, because it means that the catcher has to run that much further when he throws a wild pitch. Trade these dudes while they still have SOME value. Maybe stick one of them in the bullpen, but they do not get to start. Period.

4.) Note for the future: Stay away from veterans who's careers are waning. I like Kevin Millar as a person, but without that beard, he sucks. Jeff Conine, BJ Surhoff, Sammy Sosa, and Rafeal Palmeiro were a waste of our time and money. If we could trade Conine and Millar, I'd say do it, but I can't think of anyone who has lower trade value. I think they only have 1 year contracts, so that's good.

5.) Start Nicky Markakis every day and every way. Bat him second so he gets lots of at bats and experience. He could be a really valuable piece. Maybe even hire him his own private coach.

6.) Give Corey Patterson the green light in every situation. I think this has already happened, so we are OK here.

7.) If anyone asks about Melvin Mora, he is totally, and utterly AVAILABLE!!! Earlier in the season, I was all like, "Pay the Dude, Pay the Dude" and now, I think it really would be a good idea to see what we could get for him. My gut tells me not much, but as time goes on, that "not much" will start to become less and less.

8.) If you are going to keep Fernando Tatis, get him back on the juice. Hire him is own chemist who can develop new, "non-detectable" steroids, and human growth hormones. And then, have him hit the weight room. Hard.

9.) Don't spend until you are on the cusp of competing. When you get to the cusp, spend away. 50 Million for 2 years for Barry Zito? OK!

10.) Keep and nurtue Brian Roberts, Eric Bedard, Ramon Hernandez, Chris Ray, David Newhan and Chris Benson. Maybe we should hire a second coach for everything, so they can operate like parents.

So to recap:

Definetely trade: Miggy, Mora, Chen, Rodrigo Lopez, Conine, Javy Lopez, DanCab and Latroy Hawkins.

Definitely Keep: Roberts, Bedard, RamHern, Ray, the Bensons, Newhan, Patterson, and Markakis. Oh, and Loewen and Penn are staying.

Not bad to keep, but perhaps available too: Jay Gibbons, and Kevin Millar.

People to think about hiring: Chemist for Tatis, 2nd coach for everything, assign Mazzone to Penn and Loewen exclusively (maybe they can get a townhouse/apartment together), and a rally midget (i.e. 2004 Boston).

Sign of the Apocolypse #372

2006-07-26T16:27:00.000-04:00

Lance Bass is gay.

Football is upon us, hazzah!

2006-07-25T11:03:00.000-04:00

This has gone on long enough. Since the start of this blog, I have yet to post anything about my truest passion in the sport-o-sphere; football. Which means I also have yet to post on my truest passion within my truest passion; the Redskins. That will now come to an end. Even though no meaningful football game will be played until more than a month from now, I cannot hold out any longer. I will now release my game-by-game predictions of the Skins' regular season schedule:

Game 1: Minnesota
The Vikings will have a new look, no Culpepper, no Moss, no Tice, and I'm willing to bet no boat parties. Brad Johnson and Fred Smoot come back to DC to get a whoopin. We dominate this MNF season opener in honor of Tony K.
27-10 Skins

Game 2: at Dallas
Ok. Same scenario as last year. 2nd game of the season for both teams, at Dallas, with Madden and Michaels calling the game. This should be a win for us, right? Hmm..I have a bad feeling about this game. As much as I KNOW we are a better team than Dallas, I think Jerry Jones pays off a few refs and we lose because of a pass interference call on T.O.
17-14 Dallas

Game 3: at Houston
If they had drafted Reggie or Vince, I'd be a little nervous about this one, just a little. But since they're ridiculously dumb for not, they deserve to lose all their games. And David Carr sucks.
24-3 Skins

Game 4: Jacksonville
Jax is a playoff caliber team with similar make-up of the Skins, except they're in the AFC. Since we have some sort of phobia of beating AFC teams, this will be a close and disappointing loss at home. However, I think a 2-2 start will keep us from getting cocky, which will be a good thing down the road.
12-10 Jags

Game 5: at New York Giants
Eli Manning will whine more during this game than Phil Hellmuth and Mike Matusow playing heads up, as our defense collapses and confuses youngest Manning. Tiki coughs up some killer fumbles as the score will seem closer than it will be.
24-17 Skins

Game 6: Tennessee
Will Vince Young be playing by now? I hope so, because a mobile QB and the Skins D don't mix. Sherrif Gonna Getcha...er...I mean Clinton Portis romps all over the field in a breakout game as the Gibbs get a winning streak started.
31-10 Skins

Game 7: at Indy
I am extremely interested in this game. You may think I will lay over and give this game to Indy. Well think again, sucka. The Skins are the perfect team to counter Indy's high-octane offense. With disciplined D and Joe Gibbs' patented clock-killing running game, Peyton won't know what him him. This will also break our losing streat against AFC teams. This will be a key game, propelling us into the "next level".
23-18 Skins

Game 8: Dallas
Revenge. Sweet revenge from the season's earlier loss. Using the Indy win as a boost, we crush Dallas in the same fashion as last year's whomping, prompting T.O. to pull his pants down and poo in Drew Bledsoe's helmet.
63-3 Skins

Game 9: at Philadelphia
Traveling to Philly will no longer be a weary road of failure. No, we shall triumphantly blaze a path of maroon and gold through the dwelling of the maligned Eagle fan. Plus McNabb will be sidelined for this game because of a nagging fro injury.
20-17 Skins

Game 10: at Tampa Bay
In a rematch of our playoff victory, the game is close for 3 quarters. In the 4th, however, Chrissy Simms sinks the ship of the Bucs and throws 2 costly picks to seal the game for the Skins. This will also be right around the time the Mets win the World Series, FYI.
17-7 Skins

Game 11: Carolina
Our 6-game win streak comes to a screeching halt, as the Panthers show why they are a Super Bowl contender. Delhomme and Smith give us a pounding in what will be the preview of the NFC Championship game, but hopefully with a different result.
34-10 Panthers

Game 12: Atlanta
Uh Oh. Mark Brunell lunges for a first down in the opening drive and is slow to get up. He is favoring his knee and ultimately has to sit for the game. Journeyman Todd Collins takes the reigns only to be pummeled by the Atlanta D. Vick punches in the winning score while Skins fans are left wondering if Brunell returns next week...
23-17 Atlanta

Game 13: Philadelphia
...after much fasting and daily prayer sessions by Gibbs and Brunell, his knee is miraculously healed! The Eagles go up early however, and McNabb looks on his game. Yet, Brunell is seen eating communion on the sideline at half-time and scampers for a 58 yard touchdown to lead the Skins to another Philly sweep.
28-24 Skins

Game 14: at New Orleans
The Skins couldn't have had a better road game at this point. New Orleans has now won a game this season because of the Reggie Bush holdout and a season ending injury to Drew Brees. They do put up a fight however, as the Skins squeek by in a low scoring affair.
13-7 Skins

Game 15: at St. Louis
If the Skins win or the Giants lose, the Skins clinch the division. The Rams come out blazing, though, and Bulger and Holt hook up for two scores in the first half. A comeback falls short for the Skins, yet are relieved to hear that the Saints have won their first and only game of the year against the Giants. Way to go, Saints.
27-17 Rams

Game 16: New York Giants
What could have been the season's best game turned out to be a dud, as the Skins rest their starters for clinching the division. The G-men take advantage and win easily. Eli still can't stop whining, though, and someone from the crowd pelts him with a snowball filled with batteries.
23-9 Giants

So I say the Skins will be 10-6 again, like last year, but with the division title. This gives them pretty good playoff position and I think they'll at least make it to the NFC Championship. I'll hold my tongue on the Super Bowl....for now.

D.Song - The Newest Wiz Kid

2006-07-22T09:31:00.000-04:00

Hello My Fellow Comanches.

The Washington Wizards just signed Darius Songila to a 5 year, 21 million dollar contract, suring up their front line with a player who can actually score points AND get their hustle on. I think it is a good signing, because he will crack the rotation, and come to play.

My one question though: Why do people feel its necessary to photoshop their newest acquisitions into their team's uniforms (in game action) before the ink is even dry on their contract. This is really dumb. Your thoughts?

Picks A La Aaron

2006-07-17T14:02:00.000-04:00

Baseball (the greatest of sports, disagreements are unamerican and you will be counted as part of the axis of evil)

Favorites:
1 and only 1. The Baltimore Orioles. There is no room for others here.

The Despised: YANKEES. Gosh do I hate dem Yankees. They throw money around with wild abandon (like Daniel Cabrera, only with better results). I can't stand being in their division. Having to play 40 games against the money mongrel Yankees and Red Sox a year is a bit much. And Randy Johnson is ugly.

Football
Favorite #1: The Ravens. I will never forget their Super Bowl run. What a defense! Punishing. They hit everyone hard (like Daniel Cabrera with the bases loaded)

Favorite #2: The Redskins. Impossible you say? Hardly. I grew up a Redskins fan because Baltimore didn't have a team. Good time. I loved Darrell Green and Art Monk. But since the Ravens came to town the Redskins gotta take a back seat.

Despised: Cowboys. I still hate these guys from my Redskin days. I had voodoo dolls of Michael Irvin and Emmit Smith. They don't matter too much to me now, but old hatreds die hard. Rising on the haterboard are the Pittsburgh Steelers. They have beaten my Ravens well these last few years and for that they must pay!

Basketball:
Favorite: The Wiz. I always love the home team. And when they had Juan Dixon and Steve Blake I was ecstatic. But Gilbert Arenas is going to be a household name in a few years and you gotta love Jamison. It's good to see a losing team turn it around. I hope it inspires my O's.

Despised: The Knicks. These guys are pathetic and they keep making terrible decisions. Plus they're from New York and I can't help but feel this taints them somehow.

College Basketball:
GO TERPS!!! DUKE SUCKS!!! Nuff said.

Hockey: Umm...I think we're talking about sports here...

Bowling:
Favorite: You have to love Mark Scroggins. The man is possessed. If you watched the Denny's PBA Tour Trials, and like, who wouldn't, then you know what I'm talking about.

Despised: Jim Pratt. He's a poser.

JK's pics

2006-07-15T16:46:00.000-04:00

Please allow me to join in with my personal favorites:

NFL:
Top Three:
#1 Redskins (no body else is close)
#2 Patriots (how can you hate those guys? I have a man crush on Tedy Bruschi, btw)
#3 Rams (the greatest show on turf! special shout to my father in law in HI - he loves the Rams)
Bottom Three:
#1 Cowboys (any true Skins fans must agree)
#2 Eagles (most of their fans are a bit annoying)
#3 Ravens (sorry Aaron - I've gotta be honest!)

MLB:
Tops:
#1 O's (quick prognostication - Miguel is not an O by this time next year)
#2 Cardinals (gotta love Pujols and Rolen and even Ozzie Smith - they seem like cool guys, and the fans seem really neat)
#3 Red Sox (C'mon fellas?! Big Pappy? Man Ram? Bloody sock boy? the curse? the idiots? what a cast of characters!)
Bottoms:
#1 Yankees (I love rooting against them every October - it has been at least 5-6 years since they have won it all!)
#2 Blue Jays (just because of Cito Gaston - my bitterness is long lasting)
#3 Phillies (their fans are annoying - maybe I just have something against people from Philly?)
Confused:
Nats Bats (sometimes I love them, sometimes I hate them - I don't know which way to go! I'm still on the fence - help me!)

NBA:
Tops:
#1 Wiz Kids
#2 Suns (you gotta love 150+ points a game!)
#3 Spurs (C'mon Jim! The Big Fun? Big Shot Rob? Frenchie Boy? The Argentine? Bruce 'the defensive stopper Bowen? How can you hate them? I love a team with great characters!)
Bottoms:
#1 Lakers (Kobe - enough said)
#2 Cavs (I think Lebron is great, but I was annoyed that he got away with so many walks in the playoffs against the Wiz)
#3 Supersonics (Because they beat le' Bulle' in the NBA Championships in the 70s - did I say my bitterness lasts long or what?)

Poker:
Tops:
Chris Furgeson, Phil Ivey (stone cold poker faces - enough to wet your pants!)
Can't stand 'em:
Phil Helmuth, Mike Matesow (can these guys be any more pompous? they think their stuff don't stank)

America Idol:
Tops:
Taylor Hicks (representin' the 30 year olds!), Carrie Underwood (the 'Jesus take the wheel!' girl), Ruben Studdard, the 'She Bangs' Asain kid, Jasmine Trias (that one's for you Shari - go Hawaii girl!)
Bottoms:
Ace Young, Clay Aiken, Katherine McPhee, Fantasia Barrino (These people all scare me - I don't know why!)

I digress......

JK, signing out.....

Jim's Favs...

2006-07-14T08:09:00.000-04:00

OK, so I just want to feel like I'm "in da club" with Eric and Frank...so here are my favorites. In a particular order.

NBA
1. Washington Wizards
distant 2's. Pistons, Bobcats.
Hates: SPURS! and I would say Knicks, but now they are kinda funny, so I don't hate them as much as I used to.

NFL
1. Washington Redskins (I know I told Aaron I would root for the Ravens, but I just can't).
2. Pittsburgh Steelers
Hates: Cowboys, Patriots

MLB
1. Baltimore Orioles
Hates: Yankees, Nationals,

College Basketball
1. Maryland
2. West Virginia (I totally got Pittsnogled)
3. UAB
4. George Mason
(I'm not really a fan of 2-4, but I just have fond memories of some pretty sweet upsets in the tournament, and I've just got some left over love for them).
Irrational Hatred: Duke. Also Dislikes: UCONN, North Carolina.

College Football
1. Maryland
2. Depending on who I'm talking to: Ohio State or Michigan.
Dislkes: Depending on who I'm talking to: Ohio State or Michigan.

Women's Professional Tennis
1. Maria Sharapova
Hates: Ugly Girls.

Getting back to Eric's post...

2006-07-13T10:35:00.000-04:00

Good idea, Eric. It's always good to define our allegiances from time to time. As Eric said, these are listed in order of favorite sport:

NFL
1. Redskins
a distant #2. Packers (I liked their helmet as a kid and they have Favre)
Emblazoned Hatred: Cowboys
Passionate Dislikes: Eagles, Giants, Ravens

MLB
1. Mets
2. Orioles
Emblazoned Hatred: Yankees and Braves
Passionate Dislikes: Red Sox, Phillies, White Sox

College Basketball
1. UMD Terps
2. Anne Arundel Community College
Will root for: UCONN, Florida, Georgetown, GW, Michigan
Emblazoned Hatred: Duke, Shane Battier, JJ Redick, Carlos Boozer, Jay Williams
Passionate Dislikes: All other ACC teams, the MVC, Kentucky, Stanford, Kansas

NBA
1. Wizards
2. Whatever team Juan Dixon and Steve Blake end up on, so I guess the Trailblazers right now
3. Mavs
Passionate Dislikes: Heat, Lakers, Spurs, Bulls, Knicks

Golf
1. David Duval
2. Fred Funk (his home course is Paint Branch, 5 minutes from my apartment)
3. Vijay
Other players I like to see win: Phil, Tiger, Jim Furyk, Fred Couples
Players I never want to see win: Colin Montgomery, Sergio, Rory Sabbatini

College Football (it's different here than in the Midwest)
1. UMD Football
2. Florida
Passionate Dislikes: FSU, Miami, Virginia, West Virginia

Also, my fantasy teams seem to sway my likes and dislikes with each draft. I suppose I'll post about the "fantasy dilemma" when the time comes for me to root between my fantasy team and real team.

Who Would Win?

2006-07-13T10:13:00.000-04:00

Zidane?

Or a Pachycephalosaurus?

(In case you didn't know, Pachycephalosaurus was a dome-headed dinosaur. Its head housed an incredibly 10 inch thick skull with a tiny brain and large eyes. The huge dome was used for ramming rivals and as self-defense against predators.)

Hi, I'm Eric and I don't like Duke

2006-07-11T21:31:00.000-04:00

Well, now that we are in the lull of summer in sport, meaning that baseball is the only thing worth mentioning other than who is signing what NBA contract (even though they technically can't yet...). So I thought maybe we could post (for the record) our own interests and affiliations. I know we generally like most DC area teams but I'm sure there are a few teams that we like or dislike that aren't regionally biased. For example, I can't stand the Colts. My dislike stems from none other than Tecmo Bowl, where the Colts were horrible and I laughed at them as I beat them.

Here's some info on the world of sport from my point of view. I have my top teams in each sport, ranked by which sport I follow the most (so go ahead and post your own!):

College Basketball
1. Maryland
2. Ohio State
Great dislike for: Duke, Michigan, for some reason Virginia Tech

College Football
1. Ohio State
2. Maryland
3. Bowling Green
Great dislike for: Michigan, any team from Florida, Steve Spurrier in general, Toledo

MLB
1. Cincinnati
1a. Baltimore
2. Washington
Great dislike for: Yankees, Phillies, and I'm really starting to get tired of the Red Sox

NFL
1. Cincinnati Bengals. I can't believe I just wrote that.
Great dislike for: Ravens (I'm an Ohioan), Colts (from Tecmo Bowl days), Rams, Cardinals

NBA
1. Detroit Pistons
2. Wizards
Great dislike for: Lakers, Knicks, Pacers

Why I loved the World Cup Final

2006-07-11T13:07:00.000-04:00

My new favorite soccer player is ZINEDINE ZIDANE!!!

I heard the Italian guy didn't call him a "dirty Terrorist". Right, so he head-butted you because you didn't call him a dirty terrorist. OK. I get it now.

Welcome to Earth, Lurch

2006-07-04T09:48:00.000-04:00

Gilbert Arenas, streetname "Zero Hero" for all you Miami police officers, welcomed his new teammate, Oleksiy Pecherov (I will never remember how to spell that name)(or pronounce it) at yesterday's first practice for the Wizard's Vegas Summer League squad.

Pecherov measured out to 7' tall at the practice. Coach Eddie Jordan says that Pecherov is picking up the Princeton Offense pretty well. "You can see that he has basketball skills," said Jordan, which is good...because basketball skills are CRUCIAL to the game of basketball. I'm surprised that the Wizards didn't get this information from his scouting report, or his pre-draft workout for the team, but hey...if he's got basketball skills, he's already better than Brendan Haywood.

In other Wizards news....

Jared Jeffries, who is a restricted free agent, has started courting other teams, and it seems like the teams that are interested include...the 76ers, Knicks, Bulls, Spurs and Rockets.

The Wizards have also been mentioned to be one of the teams pursuing a trade with Milwaukee for One-time All-Star Center Jamal Magloire.

In other NBA news....

Ben Wallace to the Bulls...Now, it seems that the Bulls may be trying to pry Kevin Garnett from Minnesota...offering a package of Tyrus Thomas, Tyson Chandler, and Luol Deng. Check this starting 5...Hinrich, Gordon, Noicinoninci, KG, and the Fro. Yikes...

Hornets also would like to get Chandler. They already signed Bobby Jackson and Peja. Check this NO/OK....Paul, Peja, Mason, D West, and Chandler, with B Jax, and their two rooks coming off the bench. Definitely looks like a playoff team.

The Clips resigned Sam Cassell, who will be pulling an Avery Johnson in 2 years. and signed Tim Thomas, who is going to be returning to his "I thought this guy was supposed to be good"-mode.

Wizards Need Simmons!

2006-06-28T10:03:00.000-04:00

OK, I Know I've posted 2 days in a row, and you are all probably sick of me posting, but I need to weigh in on what the Wizards will do tonight in the NBA Draft.

I want to introduce you all to Cedric Simmons. Cedric is a 6'10 Power Forward from NC State. The Wizards, and I are praying that Simmons somehow falls to the Wizards at 18. It is possible, but not likely. Simmons is supposed to go in the late lottery, maybe to someone like Seattle.

Why is Cedric is a perfect fit in Washington?

I'm glad you asked. First of all, Cedric is a defensive oriented PF with good size, who is quick and mobile, and gets a lot of blocks. The Wizards definitely need help down low, and on defense. The Cavs series showed how porous the Washington defense can be, so I think it is important the the Wizards address this need. Also, Simmons has already spent a year in college running the Princeton Offense that Herb Sendek used at State, which is the same offense that Eddie Jordan uses. It seems like he is a perfect fit for us, and we'd be a perfect fit for him. The Wizards may need to trade up to get him though.

Alexander Johnson out of Florida State would also be a good option, just not as good.

Also, Did you guys see this article from the Washington Post stating that our star player, Gilbert Arenas, would be willing to take less pay if it help the front office sign more help for the Wiz, so they can win a championship? AAAHHH!!! I LOVE GILBERT! I hope they give him what he's due as their star player, but I also hope that they listen up and put the peices together for a championship contender. I'm getting so antsy right now....get him the help! Keep him happy!

This is totally how I felt during the Tejada debacle last winter.

And Yo! Gilbert got that arrest warrant retracted! He ain't never got that court summons in the mail! Miami court system, You better check yourself before you wreck yourself! I know you guys know that Gilbert is better than Dwayne Wade! But that is no excuse for you actions. That's bush league! Let this battle be decided on the court.

and Dwayne Wade! Quit hiding behind the Desiel! I'm calling you out!

It's my job to handle life & death situations....& I'm very good at it.

2006-06-27T10:40:00.000-04:00

I thought this quote from the upcoming summer blockbuster "Snakes on a Plane" could be used to describe the current state of the New York Knicks.

Last week, James Dolan, the owner of the Knicks, fired head coach Larry Brown and replaced him with team GM, Isaiah Thomas. The Knicks are pretty much the laughing-stock of the NBA right now, owning both the league's highest payroll, and one of the league's worst records. Thomas is the man who put this team together, and now he will be in charge of coaching the team.

Dolan is now saying that Zeke will have 1 year to turn the team around. Talk about pressure. The pressure is compounded by the fact that Thomas has been so bad, running the Knicks, Raptors, and the entire Continental Basketball Association into the ground, that he will likely never work in team management again. Pressure...

The NBA Draft is this Wednesday night...you better pray that Josh Boone turns into the second coming of Karl Malone.

So it's 'do or die' for Zeke Thomas, and I couldn't be happier. My one fear is that Isaiah actually does a good job, and then we all have to admit how smart he is. I would really hate that. It's much more fun to think that he's an idiot, and that I could do a better job than him.

Ortiz - I know he's "Russ"ty, but....

2006-06-26T10:17:00.000-04:00

So the O's added a bit of depth to their pitching staff by signing RHP Russ Ortiz.

What we know....

1.) He performed well with the Atlanta Braves, winning 21 games in 2003.

2.) While he was performing well with the Braves, Leo Mazzone was his pitching coach.

3.) Leo Mazzone is the current pitching coach for the Orioles.

4.) Russ Ortiz has been so piss poor this year that Arizona pretty much just ate his contract completely because he's been so terrible. They hated his guts out!

Is he worth the risk? I say "yes"!

The Orioles didn't have to spend that much to get him, and if Mazzone gets him going again, it could be a very good situation for the O's, for Russ, and for the fans like us.

What do you guys think? Is Russ worth the risk?

What -the flash- Happened?

2006-06-21T10:56:00.000-04:00

Did I just dream that the Miami Heat won four straight games after being down 0-2 against the Dallas Mavericks to win the NBA title? Or did that actually happen?

How many people actually believed the Heat would come back from being down 0-2? Even if you said it could happen, did you actually believe it? And in game 3, when the Heat were down by like 80, I know you didn't think they could win it all at that point. You were probably thinking about how much of an idiot you were for picking the Heat. You were probably starting to write your blog about how awesome Frank is for picking Dallas. Well...you can delete that. Frank is not awesome. Frank is not even cool. Frank is lame. Just like the Mavs. (And yes, Jason is awesome, I'm trying to be a gracious loser here)

So, the question is: How did the Mavs blow it? It was pretty obvious that the better team was the Mavs, so they didn't lose because of talent. There were, however, some other "outside forces" that were working against them that, when added up, were too much. Here they are:

The Refs
Dwayne Wade, as great as he is, should not be getting more free throws than the entire team combined. I'm changing Wade's nickname from "Flash" to "Phantom" because of how many phantom fouls he gets. Unbelievable.

David Stern
Mark Cuban had no chance. I did not factor this in before the series and it turned out to be a major X. And don't tell me Stern wouldn't have his hand in this series. He used to be a lawyer, so I wouldn't put it past him. Rigged.

Alonzo's Kidney
After thinking about it, there was no way Alonzo's good kidney was going to let his team lose this game. I'm sure the good kidney dedicated the series to the dead kidney, and gave Alonzo a few extra doses of adrenaline to get up and make those huge blocks. I've coined a new term for anytime Alonzo does something good in a game: Renal. For example: "Alonzo's chest pound after that block was totally renal!"

Go-to Spectator
The Mavericks were lacking in this category big-time. By go-to spectator, I mean someone in the stands who the camera cuts to at a big moment. Think Eva Longoria. ABC could cut away to Shaq's wife or dad. Who do the Mavs have? No one. And Cuban doesn't count. You need someone who isn't part of the team and is a feel good type of person. There's nothing feel good about Cuban.

Media Pun-ability
"Heat". How easy is it for the media to come up with a clever pun to put in the headlines with a name like that? Win or lose, the word Heat can be easily incorporated into a catchy phrase. The only time "the Mavericks" would be relevant would be in a John Wayne movie. Or Back to the Future 3.

George Bush is from Texas
I don't know...he gets enough blame, why not blame him some more. Thanks Bush!

Are You Kidding Me?

2006-06-17T22:58:00.000-04:00

For all the times that sports lets you down, sometimes magical things happen that just make you smile because they are special.

Chris Benson not only pitched a beautiful game (or so I read) against the New York Mets, he hit his first career homerun off of his fomer team, leading the O's to victory with a final score of 4-2. (The Homerun is what caught my attention).

I really don't mean to steal Frank's spotlight from the blog below, and Frank probably hates me double because the Mets are his favorite team...but this just warmed my heart.

Go O's.

It's The World Cup Name Awards!

2006-06-16T12:07:00.000-04:00

First off, it's great to hear about Jason's conversion. I am now not the only one who cares about the World Cup. He's seen the light, and now we're on a mission to convert more. Look out Aaron.

With that said, the World Cup is about three things: 1) National pride, 2)Great soccer, and 3)Great player names! Without further ado, I give you my 2006 World Cup Name Awards!

The "Giggle like a 10-year-old" Award: Kaka (Brazil)

The "I only need one name because I'm awesome" Award: Tie between Cafu (Brazil) Loco (Angola), Xavi (Spain)

The "I'm posing off the whole one name thing" Award: Tie between Joaquin (Spain), Love (Angola)

The "Most confusing one name" Award: Fred (Brazil)

The "How-do-you-say...Ahh Yes..." Award: Marc Zoro (Ivory Coast)

The "Seinfeld Reference" Award: Bosko Balaban (Croatia)

The "Star Trek Reference" Award: Oliver Khhhhaaaannn (Germany)

The "Dr. Seuss" Award: Tie between Lebo Lebo (Angola), Gilles Yapi Yapo (Ivory Coast), and Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink (Netherlands)

The "Most mocked as a kid" Award: Jan Polak (Czech Republic)

The "My Village is on Fire!" Award: Edwin Villafuerte (Ecuador)

The "Best attempt at an alternate spelling of a dull first name" Award: Cyd Gray (Trinidad and Tobago)

The "My name is only cool in the soccer realm" Award: Rio Ferdinand (England)

The "Best use of the letter Z" Award: Zinadine Zidane (France)

The "Table Sport" Award: Razak Pimpong (Ghana)

The "Name that most resembles an ex-Vice President, but isn't exactly the same" Award: Dan Quaye (Ghana)

The "I couldn't pronounce this if my live depended on it" Award: Sohrab Bakhtiarizadeh (Iran)

The "Guy who Joe Pesci would most likely beat up if there were a Good Fellas 2" Award: Luca Toni (Italy)

The "God hath named thee" Award: Ho Lee (South Korea)

The "Most over-used media headline pun" Award: Omar Bravo (Mexico)

The"Steroids Check" Award: Tim De Cler (Netherlands)

The "Can I buy a vowel?" Award: Marcin Baszczynski (Poland)

The "Hey Look! My first name rhymes with my last name!" Award: Yakin Haken (Switzerland)

The "Homonym" Award: Otto Addo (Ghana)

And lastly, The "There's no way I'm believing they're American" Award: Tie between Brian Ching, Carlos Bocanegra, Claudio Reyna, and Oguchi Onyewu (USA)

Honorable Mentions
Quim (Portugal), Ruud Van Nistelrooij (Netherlands), Bonaventure Kalou (Ivory Coast), Peter Crouch (England), Chong Gug Song (South Korea)

Enjoy the games to the fullest, everyone! Go USA!!!

2006 NBA Draft Preview

2006-06-16T08:01:00.000-04:00

So, It's Friday morning...I'm all hopped up on Dunkin Donuts Coffee and I'm ready to report!

The NBA Draft is quickly approaching (June 28th, I'm totally having a party and watching this). This is an event that I have loved ever since I was in middle school. I can still remember the 1993 Draft, which included such highlights; 1.)The Golden State-Orlando trade of C.Webb for Penny, 2.) The announcement that JR Rider would henceforth be known as "Isaiah" JR Rider and 3.)Detroit selecting their "backcourt of the future" with the 10th and 11th picks, which ended up being Allan Houston and Lindsay Hunter.

This years draft has about 6 players who could be a potential number 1 pick for different reasons. Then the rest of the draft is said to be deep with role players. Honestly, these are all just conjectures, and time will only tell how this draft pans out. It's a crap shoot, and I want to communicate the delicate intracacies of this event. It's really breath-taking, when you think about it.

First up, THE ROOKIE OF THE YEAR CANDIDATES! These are the players who could have superstar-level talent, and are ready to contribute right away.

1.) Adam Morrison - Gonzaga, SF - Morrison is a fierce competitor, and a very crafty offensive player. He played 3 years at Gonzaga, and this past year was a candidate for the Naismith player of the year, and challenged JJ Redick all season for the college basketball scoring title. He also likes Rage Against the Machine, and has an awesome, little, wispy moustache. A lot of people have compared his game to Larry Bird.

2.) Brandon Roy - Washington, SG - Roy is a 4-year college player, which is rare as of late. He is an excellent athlete, and very intellegent player to boot. Get ready to hear this coming out of an NBA tunnel.....

ROY!.....ROY, ROY, ROY!.......ROY, ROY, ROY!.........ROY, ROY, ROOOOOY!

Next, we look to POTENTIAL! These are players that show a lot of promise, and could be superstars, if that promise is developed and nutured. Hubie Brown coined the term "Tremendous Up-Side Potential" (which Bill Simmmons also championed), and this is what a lot of NBA executives are searching for; a diamond in the rough.

1.) Tyrus Thomas - LSU, PF/SF - Thomas started his career at LSU as a walk on. He started the season this year on the bench. He ended up being a potential number 1 pick. This is a testament to his drive, and (ATTENTION!! Buzz Word Alert!!! BEEP!!! BEEP!!!) "motor". His is very raw, yet determined to get better, and very athletic(meaning, quick and agile), and will not give up. He played down low at LSU, but he fancies himself to be more of a perimeter pressence on the next level. Oddly enough, his favorite music is "hip-hop" and "rhythm and blues", which is rather rare for NBA players.

(Most players listen to nothing but Tom Petty which is what his music is being heavily featured during this year's NBA finals on ABC.)

2.) Rudy Gay - UCONN, SF - Gay was supposed to come to Maryland. But then he went to UCONN, so he sucks. He's supposed to have all the athletic tools, but lacks the drive, which sometimes can take himself out of the game. For instance, his team lost to George Mason in the elite 8 because he doesn't try hard all the time. Still, NBA execs are hoping they can tap this "potential-keg", and be treated to a talentful fountain of "potential-beer".

Next, we look to the BIGS! Size is a commodity in the NBA, and a lot of times, teams will take big men a few spots ahead of what their talent might dictate because it is so rare to have good post players. Think about who the good centers are in the NBA....Shaq, Yao, Ben Wallace, and then....umm....Chris Kaman? I think my point has been made.

1.) Lamarcus Aldridge - Texas, PF/C - Aldridge pushes 7 feet tall, and has a nice soft, touch around the rim. He's also known for being a big, soft, teddy bear in the paint. He needs to learn how to inflict pain. "Then they will fear you." (Godfather quote. Awesome)

2.) Patrick O'Bryant - Bradley, C - The best "legit" center in this draft. He rebounds, passes, and defends well (hello Wizards! Trade up for this dude!) but needs a little more polish on his offensive game. He's also "long", which is good, and has a giant "wingspan", and runs-the-floor well. I hope you are picking up on the lingo.

Next, FOREIGNERS! Over the past decade, we have seen an increase in foreign-born players....some of the developing into straight-up hotrods. Dirk Nowitzki, Manu Ginobili, Tony Parker and Peja Stojakovic are all examples. Who will be the next?

1.) Andrea Bargnani - Italy, PF - He is a potenial number 1. He has played against top level european talent (his team just won the european title). He is 7 Feet tall, and plays like a guard. He can bang inside, and also take his player off the dribble on the perimeter. (I know this because I read a lot of Chad Ford's articles on ESPN Insider).

2.) Oleksiy Pecherov - Ukraine, PF - Um, this may be the last time you hear about this guy. I'm getting bored with this too. So....

Next, we look to players with LEGAL TROUBLES! This should be more fun. It seems like players are getting in trouble all the time (the Portland Trailblazers seem to target players like this). Here are some of the players in this year's draft who have already had their fair share of trouble.

1.) Marcus Williams - UCONN, PG - Williams is widely considered the best point guard in the draft. A few things are hurting his draft stock. One, he gained a little wieght after the season, and is currently sitting at about 10 pounds heavier than his ideal playing weight. Number Two, his legal problems. But if anyone needs a cheap laptop, Williams is you guy!

2.) JJ Redick - Duke, SG - Redick was the Naismith player of the year and is one of the best shooters in the draft. When he's not hitting a 3-pointer, he likes to hit the sauce (hard), and then drive a car. Remember, you can't spell Redick without "D - I - C -"....oh wait, that might be a little inappropriate. Nevermind.

Next, we look at players who get PROMISES from teams. These are always rumors, and sometimes these prove to be true, and sometimes not. What happens when players get promises, they shut down all of their workouts for other teams, and just sit tight, because they know which team wants them, and where they want to go.

1.) Shelden Williams - Duke, PF - The Atlanta Hawks have been rumored to give Williams a promise for picking him at the number 5 pick in the draft (which is about 5 picks ahead of where he should go). The Hawks really need help at PG and C, so drafting a PF makes sense (sarcasm). But in all reality, they really could use his toughness and defensive ability, and if they like him, that is probably fine with the teams picking after them.

2.) Shannon Brown - Michigan State, SG - Everyone has been freaking out about how athletic Brown has been in workouts. It's been rumored that he has been given a promise by the New York Knicks at the 20th pick in the draft. This makes sense for NY because they have so many guards already, that Brown will fit right in. It also makes sense for Brown because he probably doesn't want any playing time anyway, and Larry Brown is known for liking to keep his rookies "well rested". But who knows what will happen...it is the Knicks. Conventional Wisdom has left the building.

3.) Josh Boone - UCONN, PF - Also, the Knicks want Josh Boone, at the 29th pick in the draft. It seems like they didn't have enough under-achieving bigmen. SO, that's cool.

Next, we look at the COLLEGE STARS WHO WILL SUCK IN THE NBA. Joseph Forte and Michael Olowokandi know what this is like.

1.) Gerry McNamara - Syracuse, PG - He may get drafted, maybe not though. He has a number of things going against him. 1.) He's White, which is another way of saying 2.) Not Very athletic, which is compounded by the fact that he's 3.) Too Short for the NBA. Syracuse Coach Jim Boheim thinks he's f---ing clutch though.

2.) Dee Brown - Illinois, PG - I think he will get drafted because he is so fast. But many think he's too short to make an impact. I think he could be a contributor, and a 2nd round steal. Or he could SUCK!

So that's my preview of what to look for in this year's draft. If you read this (Aaron, seriously, if you read this, I'm very proud, and thankful. You are a good friend.) then you are probably ready to understand a little bit about this years draft.

PS - I'm always intersted in what the Wizards are going to do, because they are my team! They possess the 18th and 48th picks in the draft. They need help down low, and defensively but I think REALLY, they just need the best help we can get. We will probably get 1 post player and 1 perimeter player. The interesting first round prospects they have been looking at are Hilton Armston, Rajon Rondo, Paul Davis, Marcus Vinicius Vieira De Souza and Maurice Ager.

PSS - This has been a really exciting post for me to write. I don't think I could have done it without this man. Thank you, Chad Ford! You truly are a blessing and inspiration to me.

Look at Kaka!

2006-06-15T18:48:00.000-04:00

I never thought I'd actually type the words - Soccer Rules!

The excitement, the passion, the energy, the national pride, the intensity, the pressure, the strategy, the amazing athleticism! A sport so powerful that foreign governments would allow workers time off to cheer for their country!

I never thought I would be drawn to a sporting event where a 0-0 tie could be so exciting. Never. The adage is true - don't knock it until you've tried it. I have never watched World Cup Soccer, or soccer on any professional level for that matter, until this year. I confess, I was a hater before, but now I see the light and believe! A regular ole' Thomas, am I!

And the fans?! They make Raider nation, decked out in spikes and pirate gear, frothing from the mouth, look like preppy Ivy Leaguers golf-clapping a riveting tennis volley. Every one of them wears their country colors with pride, as though the outfits themselves were the price of admission. They yell and scream the entire match, set fireworks off in the stands, and they all seem to reach for the face paint. The hopes and dreams of their countrymen lie on the swift feet of their heroes, longing to shout that cherished word on a moment's notice...you know the one.....clear your vocal chords......ready.....GGGGGOOOOOAAAALLLL!!!! I defy you to find a sport paralled in the good ole' US of A.

C'mon and give it a try - you will not be disappointed! Your sportseaters juices are bound to be flowing!

P.S. Ok, ok - who am I foolin'? A month from now, I'll be back to my normal hater ways, just like the rest of ya. Well, at least the streets of Miami should be cleared of all championship confetti and debri by that time (take that Skretch - Heat will win!)

The State of Maryland Basketball

2006-06-14T12:11:00.000-04:00

Its the offseason for college hoops, and while its not as interesting as any of the professional leagues, there is still some news of note for the Terps. Some good, some bad. Read on to find out...

1) DJ Strawberry declared for the NBA draft. Techinically. But he's expected to withdraw once the NBA workouts are over. Supposedly, in a workout with ex-Dookie Jay Williams, DJ surprised some people with his athleticism. At 6' 5", he's bigger than most PGs and with "a little" more development could be a decent prospect for next year. Maybe.

2) Ekene Ibekwe also declared, but has since re-joined the Terps. Thankfully.

3) Gary Williams was overseas visiting the troops with several other prominent coaches. While he was gone, Jeff Jones (a top recruit of the 2007-2008 season) reneged on his commitment , and Eric Hayes, the key PG to next year's class, has a parent who publicly said "he has some questions for GW and the program." It sounds like Hayes is staying around for good, thankfully, but it sent some panic through the Terp faithful. Welcome back, coach.

4) GW hired Lefy Driesell's son as a new assistant coach as a recruiter and to bring some good karma back to the bench.

5) J.J. Reddick was picked up for a DWI. More strong moral fiber from Duke!

I think that's most of the news for the last month or two. The media has been painting a bleak picture of the Maryland program but hopefully GW will silence the critics with an NCAA run this next year. With a starting five of Hayes, Jones, Strawberry, Gist, and Ibekwe, the Terps should be explosive, taleneted, and experienced.

Steve McNair, the Raven King

2006-06-09T13:36:00.000-04:00

Yes, Frank I am going to blog about this. I think it's easy to say McNair is an old and fragile quarterback whose best years are behind him. But it's much harder to say that in an Eastern Eurpoean language while eating a twinkie.

Here are the facts:

1. McNair is a three-time pro-bowler
2. He was the NFL's co-MVP in 2003
3. He's been to the Super Bowl
4. He'll get to throw to Derrick Mason again
5. In South America the Bull Shark is also called the Zambezi Shark
6. He provides the veteran leadership that the Raven offense sorely needs

So not a big deal? Hardly. The biggest deal ever in professional sports? Perhaps.

The Ravens have always had a decent defense, but it was their offense that always cost them games. With a proven veteran quarterback, things could change a bunch. And he certainly can't be any worse than Kyle Boller who's more skittish than a squirrel on crystal meth.

I DRIVE A DODGE STRATUS

2006-06-08T11:22:00.000-04:00

You may think that a Will Ferrell quote as the title of this post has nothing to do with sports, and you may think it's rather random. Well, you are both right and wrong at the same time. How is that possible, you ask? Well yes, it has nothing to do with sports and yes it is random, but that sort of Will Ferrell randomness leads me directly into my post today: my random thoughts on whatever sports headlines I feel like rambling about. In conclusion, Will Ferrell is funny.

1. Mavs vs. Heat. Game 1. Everyone is saying this should be a great series and I tend to agree. You have two superstars who can't be guarded in Shaq and Dirk. You have an electrifying, young rising star in Wade, the first of the new breed to get to the finals. You have a resurging floor general and resident crotch-puncher (my new favorite term) in Jason Terry. Both teams have a multitude of key role players, X-factors, energy guys, and crafty veterans. Both teams have stand-out coaches. Avery Johnson, current coach of the year vs. Pat Riley, the greatest hair-slicker of all time. Also, most importantly, documented in this blog, I predicted the Mavs would win it all and Jason predicted the Heat would. It's our first SportsEaters prediction showdown. May the best Eater win....(obviously me).

2. Stanley Cup Finals. Feel the weight. As in Doug Weight, forward for the Carolina Hurricanes. I'm sure none of you watched any of the first two games since A) you don't care, and B) it's on OLN, which I still can't figure out what that stands for. Well, you are missing some serious awesomeness on ice. In game 1, the Hurricanes came back from a 3-0 deficit to win 5-4. They knocked out Edmonton's goalie with an injury and the backup screwed up a puck behind the net leading to the wide-open game winner to Rod Brind'Amour, who's nose rivals that of The Penguin played by Danny DeVito. Edmonton lost last night and is now down 2-0 in games, but are heading to home ice. I think they can bring it back to 2-2, though, and make a run for the great Cup. Did you know they are an 8 seed? Little known fact.

3. Speaking of Cups. The World Cup. The mayhem starts tomorrow. Much hooliganism and shenaniganarianism will be had by many. Just like hockey, though, I'm possibly the only one on this blog that remotely cares. That makes me twice as pumped. The USA has an outside chance of eventually losing to Brazil. I like our odds. If anyone needs motivation to watch the games just watch this video from YouTube, with Jim's favorite band Creed providing inspiration: Greatest Goals Ever

4. Jason Grimsley. Steroids are in the news. With a vengeance. And just when you thought they'd be going away for a while. Well, in case anyone hasn't figured it out by now, steroids are NOT going away. For a long time. Mark McGwire would have liked us to not look at the past, but look forward to the future. Well, Mark, the future looks to be filled with as many needle-soaked butts as the past, maybe more. The story about Jason Grimsley saying there were coffee pots in clubhouses labeled "leaded" and "unleaded", meaning with or without steroids, is huge, because that means the team organization itself was aware of it. Some say that those labels just mean caffeinated and decaf, but if that's the case, why not just label them that way? Why use code words? It's time to bring out the M.I.B. Cue the Will Smith song. "Woo! There go the Men In Black....Galaxy defendiiiin....Woo!" (Your welcome).

5. The Mets. My team looks good. This is clearly a biased opinion, but the Mets will get to the World Series. I also predict the Yankees will face them in a Subway Series rematch. We are clearly putting the peices together. David Wright is the real deal, Reyes is a table setter, Delgado is a slugging veteran, Pedro is dominant, Glavine is reborn, and the bullpen is solid. With the acquisition of El Duque, who already has WS wins with two other teams and pitched dazzlingly (if that's a word) for the White Sox last post-season, they can win it all. I think they'll land someone at the trade deadline along the lines of Dontrelle or Zito, solidifying their dynasty where they'll win the next 10 titles. Ok, that was overboard. But they should contend for a while, more than I can say about them O's.

6. McNair. Ravens. Big Whoop. I expect Aaron to give his two cents on the Ravens acquisition of McNair since he's a mutinous Ravens fan, and I expect him to like the deal. I expect any Raven fan to like the deal, actually. If Elvis Grbac came out of retirement to QB the Ravens, I'd be an excited Ravens fan. Anything is better than Kyle Boller. I don't think McNair is as big of a deal as he's hyped up to be. He's old and banged up. In a division like the AFC North, he'll get punished by the Steelers and Bengals. The Titans didn't even want him working out in their own training facility because they were afraid he'd hurt himself and they'd still have to pay him. I've never heard of that before. I say he doesn't last past week 8. Enough Ravens talk, blech.

7. Michelle Wie. Misses U.S. Open. I can't believe the hype she gets. She has won absolutely NOTHING and she gets hours of coverage on ESPN and columns dedicated to her practice rounds. It's ridiculous. Why so much coverage? Have you ever heard of the name Tadd Fujikawa? Neither had I until today when I saw a tiny blurb on Yahoo. He is 15 years old, 1 year younger than Wie. He is from Hawaii, just like Wie. He tried to qualify for the U.S. Open, just like Wie, and guess what, he MADE IT. Wie did not. Where's his press coverage? Why is he not leading sports center? Also, guess how tall he is....5 foot 1 inch! That's awesome! He hits it 285 yards! Too bad he wasn't born a girl or he'd be landing million dollar Nike deals.

Alright, I'm done. I'm parking the Stratus.

Obersevations from the O's-Yanks Game - 6/02/06

2006-06-05T10:37:00.000-04:00

Me and a group of friends went out to the ballpark to the O's-Yankees Game last friday, and boy, it was a lot of fun. Here are my oberservations.

1.) Not all Yankees fans are complete A-holes. Some of them are, for sure, but not all of them. Some of them just want their team to win.

2.) There really isn't a bad seat in Camden Yards. I think we were probably one of the last people to get our tickets online, and we were in the upper deck, but it was really not that bad.

3.) It's really fun to heckle opposing teams fans. I kept shouting things like, "Way to go! Yankees!" all sarcastically, and it was a blast.

4.) The Yankees are really banged up. They STARTED Robinson Cano, Andy Phillips, Miguel Cairo, Kelly Stinnet and Bernie Williams. I haven't heard of any of those people, besides Bernie Williams(I included him on that list, because he is washed up). And we still lost.

5.) Corey Patterson is really good. Once he is on base, he is a sure bet to steal. He leads the majors in steals, and he's turning out to be really good.

6.) B-Rob is still not as good as he was last year. I am almost ready to insert Cory Patterson into the number 1 slot, then B-Rob, then Mora, then Tejada, the Hernandez, then Lopez. That is a pretty good hitting line-up if you ask me. And we haven't even gotten over to Millar, who can still do it from time to time, and Gibbons, who is injured.

7.) The perfect ball park dinner is a Grill Dog + Fries + Beverage of choice. And it only costs you $15...but you don't mind paying that much at all.

8.) When you go to a ball game, you need to bring cash. Period, end of story. There is only 2 ATM is the whole park, and they will have lines.

9.) I don't understand why we are as bad as we are. I think we have a good run or two in us this season. We started off poorly, but we are better than our record shows us to be. The answer to number 9 is pitching. We still need an ace. We need to
get Barry Zito or Jason Schmidt or D-Train or somebody. If we had an ace, and maybe one more big hitter, I don't see why we can't contend next year.

10.) Don't heckle your own players. Let me just say that we lost the game by 1 run, and it might be my fault. I'm sorry B-Rob. I was shouting your name WAY too much.

Justify My Thug

2006-06-01T08:14:00.000-04:00

So Gilbert Arenas got arrested in Miami for disobeying a police officer last weekend. The officer wrote in his report that Gilbert has said upon his arrest, "You can't arrest me. I'm a basketball player. I play for the Washington Wizards and I'm not going to leave my teammate."

"You know I didn't say that," Arenas said in response. "It's so dumb. . . . Have you seen the movie 'Anchorman?' There's a scene where Ron Burgundy says, 'I'm kinda of a big deal; people know me.' It reminds me of that. (This is a real quote. If I was making this up, there would be more pseudo-swear words, and words in ALL CAPS!)

So yeah, like Michael Wilbon, I believe my man, "Zero Hero" on this one.

I think Gilbert, in response to this incident, should start being really cocky, in jest of course. He should start talking about himself in the third person. ("Gilbert Arenas would like his steak WELL DONE ma'am.")

This would be like the time when someone was like, "You don't pass enough", and he said, "Dude! I'm not Steve Nash!" and then the next game he had like 17 assists, and he didn't shoot.

So now Gilbert has his "Miami Arrest Story" to tell to his family when he gets older. Next time Gilbert, you should get arrested for something juicy like, hosting Dog Fights in your house (Qyntel Woods), or bringing a gun on to a team plane (Sebestian Telfair) or burning your fiance's house down (Lisa "Left Eye" Lopez), or the all time best, chopping your ex-wife's head off (OJ Simpson).

Ah, memories.

Mazzone = Baloney

2006-05-30T17:16:00.000-04:00

Thanks for the invite, guys. First post here.

When I heard that Leo Mazzone had been hired in the offseason as Baltimore's pitching coach, I thought, "Man, the O's are going to be unstoppable this year! Of course I have thought that for the past few years, and Frank and Jim think that every year, and are wrong every year, but maybe this is the year!"

Why did I think that this one man would pull Baltimore out of their traditional 4th place finish and lead them into contention for the pennant? The past successes of Glavine, Maddux, Smoltz, Avery, even dudes like Kent Mercker speak for themselves. Mazzone's pitchers have dominated the last decade. He turned a young, inconsistent staff into future hall-of-famers, and helped coach his team to more consecutive division titles than should be allowed. So, imagine what Mazzone will do with young talent such as Bedard, Cabrera, and Penn? Plus with Ponson gone, Benson added, and Lopez and Chen back from decent years, the O's staff was looking good this April. The O's even picked up another good catcher who knows how to call a game.

But not anymore. The team has the second-worst ERA in the league, and are once again stuck in 4th place behind the usual Yankees, Red Sox, and Blue Jays. Their "ace" from last year is a rosy 2-7, Chen is 0-5, Cabrera averages 1 walk per inning, etc. The starters are averaging one quality start every three games, and only one has an ERA below 5.00.

I know Mazzone probably just needs more time. And maybe the pitchers aren't used to their new catcher. Who knows. I'm outside of the day-to-day Orioles loop but from afar it doesn't really look good. So maybe some of you Marylanders can chime in and let me know what is going on?

In the meantime all this talk of baloney is making me hungry so I'm going to eat a ham sandwich.

Sports Journalism at it's Finest

2006-05-30T15:00:00.000-04:00

Take a look at this picture and caption that was front and center in Yahoo Sports' written recap of last night's Pistons/Heat game:

Detroit Pistons' Rasheed Wallace, right, Ben Wallace, Darko Milicic and an unidentified player, left, sit on the bench during the last seconds of the fourth quarter of Game 4 of the Eastern Conference basketball finals at the American Airlines Arena Monday, May 29, 2006, in Miami. The Heat defeated the Pistons 89-78. They lead the series 3-1.

Notice any blatant errors?

As we all know, that foriegn-looking white guy is not Darko. It's Carlos Delfino. Darko has been shipped out of Detroit with the last load of Hyundai's.
Also, as we all know, that "unidentified player" can be easily identified by sitting down and viewing any Detroit Pistons game. His name is Lindsey Hunter and plays regularly.

How does this sort of shoddy sports journalism happen? It's so bad, it's ludiculous (a cross between ludicrous and ridiculous). I demand that the Yahoo Sports caption editor, along with the intern who wrote the caption, be immediately fired, and replaced by me.

Life Lessons from the Royals

2006-05-26T11:25:00.000-04:00

I'm having a rough week. I got rear-ended on Monday. My car's in the shop and I've been dealing with insurance companies all week. My lower back is hurting me and I'm not sure why. My wife is sick and probably going to pass the bug to me. I've been informed that we have unexpected family staying over tonight that we have to clean up for and entertain. I'm involved in a situation concerning a mysterious dead chipmunk (there's no possible way to elaborate on that).

With all of this happening this week, there's one thing I can always take solace in: I'm glad I'm not a Royals fan.

The Royals are ungodly awful. I didn't realize how bad they were until early this week when I noticed they had a nice long 8 game losing streak going. That streak is now at 13 games. They had a great chance to pull out of their tailspin yesterday when they took a 6-0 lead in the first inning against the Tigers. By game's end, they lost by 5, keeping their nosedive intact.

I went to their website and saw that I could vote for who should make the All-Star team. Looking over their stats to decide who I should vote for was like deciding which animal's intestines I'd want to eat if I were on Fear Factor. Simply nauseating. Their team leader in hitting is 70-year-old Reggie Sanders with 6 homers and 21 RBIs. Their best starting pitcher is Scott Elarton who's 0-5 with a 4.71 ERA. These are their best players and I'm supposed to pick an All-Star? I'm going to vote for Matt Stairs because he looks like a cross between Stone Cold Steve Austin and Larry the Cable Guy (see pic).

The bottom line is, sports fans, no matter what troubles you're going through, no matter how bad you think your life is, at least you're not a Royals fan. Knowing that, I'll be sleeping easy tonight.

(If you're reading this and are from KC, sorry. The suicide hotline is 1-800-IAMAROYALSFAN)

I Need a Nickname

2006-05-24T10:25:00.000-04:00

He was 3 for 6 with two home runs and seven RBIs last night. No I'm not talking about Pujols, I'm talking about Ramon Hernandez, one of the best free agent signings in Orioles history. Ramon has always had a reputation of being a critical asset to a pitching staff, but it's his bat that I'm loving.

When a player is this good, they need a nick name. David Ortiz is Big Pappi, Ivan Rodriguez is Pudge, and Barry Bonds is Ragezilla, Harbinger of the Coming Darkness.

What about Ramon Hernandez? I think he's ready for a nickname and I can't think of a more creative bunch of guys to come up with one.

Thank You David Hasselhoff

2006-05-23T10:07:00.000-04:00

I am now a fan of David Hasselhoff's music.

Dirk Nowitzki of the Dallas Mavericks has converted me. After taking out the loathsome Spurs at their own place in game 7, Dirk Nowitzki is allowed to sing Hasselhoff songs all he wants without being mocked by me even once. For those who haven't heard, Dirk said that he sings to himself at the free throw line to help him relax and that he was singing Hasselhoff's "Looking for Freedom" when he hit the game winning free throws in Game 3 of the series. I suggest you load that song into your IPod to listen to in the dentist's office, at job interviews, on dates, and any other tense situations. I certainly will.

In less important matters, in my estimation, the Dallas Mavericks will win it all this year. After my impressive game 7 predictions that I posted in the comments section of JK's blog yesterday, I'm going to trust my instincts that Dallas is this years O.T.H.E.R.S. (Over The Hump Eventual Reigning Successors). By this I mean that Dallas gets over the hump of beating the Spurs, which in turn will give them the confidence to propel them to win it all. This happens all the time in sports. A team like the Mavs had been looking at the series with the Spurs as their own personal championship. By winning it, they now have the confidence to defeat anyone, since they have now beaten the one team they knew had their number. And since confidence is the key element to winning, the Mavs are golden. Some teams who have demonstrated my OTHERS theory are the Pistons over the Celtics, Bulls over Pistons, Spurs over Lakers, Red Sox over Yankees, 49ers over Packers, and I'm sure there's more but I don't feel like researching it.

Lastly, answer me this: when you have a pure-shooting Giant German, a crotch-punching point guard, a coach who talks like he has gravel in his mouth, a clinically insane owner who jumps around the sidelines like an over-excited Chris Farley, and David Hasselhoff on your side, how can you not win?

Prognosticators Beware: Diesel Hoists #4

2006-05-21T12:58:00.000-04:00

In typical Petralia fashion, I must initiate my blogging career with a bold, fresh prediction: The Heat will win this year's NBA Championship, giving Shaq Diesel his 4th trophy. Go to Vegas. Now. You can count on it. Your kids college education will be paid for. I must remind all that I am in no way a Miami Heat fan (in fact, I can't stand them, especially since they have beaten my beloved Bullets some 500 times in a row now). Here are just a few reasons:

*Shaq is da man. He can't be stopped. He is healthy now, and Zo will take off lots of the pressure from him. He wants revenge on those Pistons so bad as his career slowly fades into the sunset. They have knocked Shaq-led teams out two years in a row now, and he is destined to throw some down on big Ben.

*D-Wade - nuff said. The man is probably the most underated player in the NBA. Suddenely, he has found an outside touch too, and he can't be stopped when he slashes to the rim.

*Experience. The Heat have tons of playoff experience with smooth veterans such as white chocolate and the glove, and they appear to be clicking at just the right time.

*Fatigue. The Pistons barely survived the war with a weak Cavaliers team. The Heat have 5+ days of extra rest. And, the Pistons starting five have taken way too much of the load in the playoffs so far. The Heat have much more depth on the pine.

*Injury. Rash-weed's ankle is hurting, and he is their primary double scoring threat from the outside and post. And when the Heat make it to the finals against the Spurs, Duncan and Ginobili are also hampered by nagging injuries.

*Downward Spiral. Ever since their 2004 Chamionship, the Pistons have been getting worse in the playoffs. The 2004 team would have never let the Cavs hang around, and last year's team could not take out the Spurs. Keep in mind - they barely squeaked by the injury-riddled Heat last year in game 7, and the Heat are much better this time around. A less mature D-Wade almost took them to the finals with some busted ribs. The Pistons at best are the same team.

Shall I go on? Pick the Heat. Have I ever done you wrong before?
:)

Interleague Play Begins - The Birth of a Rivalry?

2006-05-19T09:18:00.000-04:00

Howdy Sportsfans!

The Baltimore Orioles will take on the Washington Nationals tonight, which is the 1st time a Baltimore-based baseball team takes on a Washington DC-based baseball time in like a million years. The 2 teams will compete for baseball supremacy over the Washington-Baltimore Metropolitan Area, a metropolitian area heralded as the best place in the entire-world, outside of Vancouver, Canada. It will take place in a shotty, old, run-down stadium. If the upper deck doesn't collapse, it should be good fun. Actually, I think it would be good fun either way.

Things that make this series somewhat interesting:

Frank Robinson - Current Manager, Washington Nationals; Former All-Star, Manager, Baltimore Orioles.
- Will he root for his current team, or, subconsciously, will he root for the team he played for? I think he will root for the Nationals, but its always interesting when congitive dissonance is at play.
- I know I'm totally heisting this idea from Bill Simmons, but what if Frank Robinson is like letting the game go on and everything, and then all of the sudden, he throws sand in the eyes of Alfonso Soriano, and Livan Hernandez, and then gives both of them piledrivers. Then, he gets up on top of the dugout and tears off his Nationals Uniform to reveal: A BALTIMORE ORIOLES UNIFORM! He then starts laughing maniacally and is welcomed by the Orioles Bird while the stunned crowd at RFK looks on in disbelief. This would be really, really funny.

Peter Angelos - Current Owner/Scumbag/Genius (Depends on who you talk to), Baltimore Orioles.
- Angelos vehemently opposed the Expos move to DC, so much so that he burned with rage, violence and anger when it actually happened. He's got a room in his house completely devoted to collecting Nationals memorablia and then destroying it and defacating on the ashes. I wish I was kidding. His hatred of the Nationals is well documented, runs deep and is "storied".
- A lot of people think he doesn't spend enough money on his team, and that he is a scumbag. I think he just throws money at the right players (i.e. Tejada, RamHern, and Konerko). But yeah, our starting pitching (and relief pitching for that matter) is a giant, steaming bowl of Elephant piss.

And Finally....
Comcast Sportsnet - Local Sports TV Station.
-As noted by a previous commentor, the Nats games have not been televised by Comcast, but the O's games have been. I'm sure it has something to do with contracts or whatever, but still...What will Comcast do? They have a rule of not playing Nats games, but always playing O's games. How will they reconcile this important decision? Where will they bend? What a comcastically hard decision....I'm really in a pickle................O, I just looked it up...They aren't playing the game tonight, nor the one on Sunday. Wow, they really have it out for the Nats.

I'm so excited about this impending series. I'm just kidding. I don't really care about baseball anymore. Frank, Aaron, either of you want to go to the O's-Nat's game on Saturday night at RFK at 7pm? Let me know....

Return of the Rocket?

2006-05-18T11:15:00.000-04:00

Word on the street is that Roger Clemens is increasing his workout regiments. He still hasn't said whether or not he'll return to baseball, but why would you increase your workouts if you're retired? If you retire, you should be on the couch or on travel. You should have a big hoagie in one hand and the remote in the other. The one thing you should not be doing is working out. So, this Sports Eater believes he will return. The only question is to what team.

If I were Roger, I would say no to the Yankees and Red Sox. Been there, done that. Plus the Yanks are hurting. The Astros seem the logical choice, but what about...Baltimore? I know it's a longshot, but God knows we need starting pitching like we need oxygen. Unfortunately the lowly O's aren't too close to contending for the postseason so this is more of an impossibility than a longshot. Maybe we can get David Cone ...

Glad I'm Not a Knicks Fan

2006-05-15T11:42:00.000-04:00

I'm seeing there is another "report" out there that the Knicks will buy out Larry Brown's contract for around 40 million dollars. Again, if it's labeled a "report", please don't fault the media if the information ends up being wrong, it's only a "report", not an actual news story. Just replace the word report with the word rumor and you'll be fine.

As for Larry and the Knicks, let me get this straight.

You're a great coach but only win 1 NBA championship. You don't get to the finals the next year and were planning to quit either way. You get hired by a horrific team in hopes to turn the franchise around, even in your declining health. They give you a $50-60 mill contract, prompting you to immediatley buy your own private island in the Galapagos (ok, i made that up). Your boss trades for a disgruntled, ego-driven point guard to split time with the disgruntled, ego-driven point guard you already have. Their nicknames are Stevie Franchise and Starbury. Your new team ends up with a worse record than last year's by 10 games, with the 2nd worse record in the league. So then your boss offer you $40 mill up front to STOP coaching their team, where you can then go sun tan with iguanas on your own Galapagos Island?

In the words of Don King, this is ludicrous, ridiculous, incredulous, and down right bamboostulous!

If you're Larry Brown, you just made the easiest $30 million dollars ever. It's like he played "Deal or No Deal" where every case was at least 10 million bucks. If you're the owner of the Knicks, you need to pull a "Good Fellas" and tell Isiah Thomas he's a "made man" and then take him to an abandoned restaurant and shoot him.

Injury Report: Karma Baby!

2006-05-12T10:33:00.000-04:00

Gary Sheffield - IL
Carl Pavano - IL
Octavio Dotel - IL
Hideki Matsui - IL

The first official moral logic question from The Sportseaters.

Is it sick that I am partially (if not completely) happy when rival teams' star players get injured? I feel very uncomfortable about this. But at the same time, this is the way I feel. What's wrong with me?

Obvious the logic goes like this:

- Good Teams are good because they have good players.

- Good teams are less good if they have less good players.

- Injuries take players out of the games.

- Injuries to good players take these good players out of the games, and thusly makes the teams less good.

- Good teams are easier to beat when their players are injured.

On the other hand:

- It's wrong and demented to hope that people get injured.

- It is better to beat a good team when they are at their best.

- I hope good players on the New York Yankees get injured.

- Thusly, I'm a horrible, awful person.

There may be a few jumps in the logic there, but you get the idea.

So what are we supposed to do with this? Does this only happen to me? Do I need counseling? Or does this happen to everyone and we just don't like to admit it? I'd like feedback. I'm checking into my health insurance policy to see what kind of mental health coverage I have, just in case I'm the next Hannible Lecter.

This reminds me of something else. The other day, I was flipping through the channels on the TV, and I came upon the movie Celtic Pride. The movie stars Damon Wayans, Dan Akroid, and Daniel Stern (Dude from Home Alone). The movie is about these 2 Celtic fans who kidnap the best player on the opposing team during the NBA finals. This was the worst movies I had ever seen. I didn't get to finish the movie because it was dinner time, so I never got to learn the lesson from the movie. I somehow see this as significant and relevant.

So what's the lesson. Where's the gap in my logic that tells me I'm wrong?

Playoff Hockey: I Love This Game!

2006-05-10T13:57:00.000-04:00

Warning...Warning...We interrupt your regularly scheduled programming of NBA and MLB to make an important announcement: Playoff hockey is awesome! (Please do not disregard the rest of this message just because of the word hockey)

Yes, this little known, often forgotten sport has me enthralled. In a game where heroes go unnoticed and a celebration is nothing more than an arm raise and a few hugs, it has fallen into a vacuum of indifference and disinterest by the mass media, and sports fans as a whole. But as for me? One thing saves it, the playoffs.
They're exciting! That's right! Exciting!

It's end to end action. Every game has a fair share of 2 on 1 breakaways, stone cold slap shot upper 90 goals, fantastic goalkeeper sprawl saves, classic hockey fights/bad blood, huge hipchecks and boardslams, playoff beards, and at least one coach will always have a mustache for an added bonus.

Now please let me make a distinction here. This is strictly playoff hockey. I'll be the first one in line to say that the regular season is about as interesting as Nicole Richie in the Simple Life.

Every year I go through the same hockey cycle. It goes like this: The season starts with me not caring at all. I keep an eye on the Capitals to see if they're competitive. They are solidly in second to last place right in front of the Penguins. The regular season ends and I haven't watched one full period throughout the year. The playoffs start. I'm watching every minute of every game including double OT's that compell me stay up till 3am while trying not to wake my wife up as I jump on the couch after an unbelievable game-winning goal. It's the same thing every year. The season sucks, the playoffs are great. It's the biggest hyperspace jump from regular season to post-season in any sport.

Take last night, for example. After my evening obligations, I get home and turn on the Ducks at the Avalanche at the start of the third period in a 1-1 tie. In a 10-minute span I see a shorthanded goal, a pin-point upper 90 wrister goal, a hat-trick by a guy I've never heard of before named Lupul, and a rocket launcher slap shot goal to tie the game and send it into overtime, leaving me sweating and staring blankly out of amazement. Then in overtime, the guy Lupul wins it with his fourth goal of the game on a heat seeking five-hole missile shot. I nearly fainted.

If you are a sports fan, there is no reason not to like playoff hockey. If you don't think you'd like it, I just ask you to sit down with a cold beverage and watch the next game 7 of a hockey series and if you don't tell me it wasn't exciting, I'll stare directly into your eyes and tell you have no soul.

It would be much more exciting than watching LeBron get pounded by 38 points by the Pistons 4 times in a row. (that is...unless you're Jim)

Stomach Punch Game: V. 3.0

2006-05-08T08:36:00.000-04:00

OK, so the Wizards are finally out of it. Completely. Season Over. I feel like something terrible just happened, and now we have to have a candle-light vigil or something to try to get some closure about what happened. Let's remember the series that was.

What I did NOT appreciate about this series:

1.) We Lost 3 Games by 1 Point! 2 of them in overtime! Ouch! Even more ouch was the fact that in these last 2 overtimes, the Wizards hit BIG SHOTS to force the OTs, which is like injecting a heroin-needle full of hope, only to find out when we lost that the herion was fake, and our hope was in vain. This really hurts.

And no, I have not tried herion.

2.) Lebron James is a freaking girl. He literally cries, whines, and mopes every single time he is called for a foul. The way he makes it out, he has never fouled anyone. Lebron, YOU HAVE! YOU ARE A BABY! GET COUNSELING!

Oh and I did some research: Right before Gilbert attempted his 2nd free throw in OT (both of which, he missed), Lebron James came up to Gilbert and said something. I was dying to know what he said. So I found out from the horses mouth....Lebron said, "I told him that if he misses this free throw, then the game is over." Gilbert said that Lebron said something like, "If you miss this shot, you KNOW who is hitting the game-winner." (I dont think he meant Damon Jones, but whatever). Either way, one thing is crystal clear right now: Lebron James is a BIG, IMMATURE JERK!

Also, I just read Wilbon's article, and he said that after Gilbert missed these 2 free throws, Lebron went back to the bench and told his teammates that Gilbert was a "(bleeping) wimp". You know what I think?!? Lebron James is a (bleeping) JERK!!!!!

3.) I don't particularly like Mike Brown.

4.) The Officials made some BAD calls, and then missed some major ones. We are talking about 3 games that could have had a different outcome if things were called correctly. I know the officials miss things, but this was ridiculous.

5.) The TNT breakdown of highlights was like 80% Lebron James, 10% Cleveland Cavs, and 10% Wizards. The Wizards have a 2 time all-star too.

OK, Now let's get on to the positive. Things I DID appreciate about the series.

1.) I love the Wizards. I love Gilbert Arenas, Jamison, & Butler. We really fought in this series, and even after the games we lost, I was never like super-pissed-off at any of our players (except for Billy Thomas, that is...why is he even on our team?). Butler showed a lot of toughness. Gilbert missed those two big free throws, but you couldn't blame him since he had half our points. Jamison nailed some 3 pointers. All in all, very good effort. Had some of the calls gone differently, we may be playing Detroit right now.

2.) The emergence of Jared Jeffries. In the past, I would have considered JJ dead weight. Not anymore. In this series, he proved that he has a place on this team, and in this league. Dude was responsible for guarding Lebron James, and did a very good job. In my opinion, he has the potential to become a Bruce Bowen/Tayshaun Price-style lockdown defender, except he is 6'11. He can guard 4 positions on the floor. He is a restricted free agent this summer, and the Wiz should do what they can to keep him in the fold. He is valuable.

3.) Our core is good. We have a bright future. We do need to add some pieces though. This offseason, there are numerous big men available, through the draft and free agency. I'd like to see us add a front line center, or draft Patrick O'Bryant. Yo, and we need some defense. They should definitely work on that in the preseason.

4.) Lebron James. Even though he is a jerk, he is a really amazing athlete. He hit some impossible shots (I'm not talking about those lay-ups), and really elevated his team. He hit a few turn around jumpers that were simply unguardable and amazing. I hate his guts, but I have to admit he's good. It's like the end of Anchorman where Wes Mantooth says, "At the bottom of my gut, with every inch of me, I plain, straight hate you. But dammit, do I respect you!"

5.) The fact that the Cavs will lose to the Pistons in 4 games.

6.) The hard foul by Brendan Haywood on Lebron James. That was the first time I can ever remember being happy that Brendan is on our team. This will go down as one of my favorite memories of the series. Maybe I'm spiteful.

All in all, a very competitive series. I hope the Wiz bounce back and do great next year. I pray we somehow get better. Thanks for all your hard work. Gilbert, I know you are back in the gym already, working on your free throws. Thanks for showing so much heart and determination! You are a great player and I'm so glad that you are on our team and that I get to root for you.

Stomach Punch Game 2.0

2006-05-04T10:58:00.000-04:00

I can't believe I got up for work today. After staying up until 12:30am to watch the most exhausting, exciting, see-saw game of the NBA season , where the Wizards ended up losing in agony-inducing fashion making me repeatedly bang my head on my steering wheel while driving home, there was a 4% chance I was getting up for work this morning. Miraculously, I got up. But it was only slightly less miraculous than the duel between Gilbert and LeBron. And I am sure that LeBron and the Cavs won this game only because they were lucky enough to have the ball last with enough feasable time on the clock to score. Basically, the game came down to last possession wins, because Gil and LeBron were going to score every possession until time either time runs out or they drop dead. And actually, Gilbert should have had one more chance if the Wiz called a timeout with .9 on the clock, but I think he tried to draw a foul on his full-court heave, which I wouldn't put it past the refs to actually call that. But that was a mistake, they should have called timeout. One more gigantic, long-running mistake by the Wizards is their interior defense. Somebody please block an Eric Snow layup. If we don't draft a legit center like Aaron Gray or John O'Bryant, I'm going to crash my head through the TV screen.

Anyway, this series is heading for a game 7. Be on the lookout for shooting stars Sunday night. (Yeah, my puns rock!)

Dear Commissioner Stern:

2006-05-02T10:46:00.000-04:00

(This is a picture of Lebron James after he took about 45 steps while not dribbling the ball before he jumped 3 times, and then scored a game-winning basket against the Wizards last Friday Night)

Friday night, I was watching the end of a very exciting playoff basketball game between the Wizards and the Cavs. (I had been out that evening chatting with a friend, so I came upon this game at the very end).

When I started watching, we were winning the game 92-91.

Then some stuff happens, and then this happens:

-With 30 seconds left in the game and the game tied at 93, Lebron James drives the lane on Jared Jeffries. He jumps up to put the ball up, then comes back down, and then jumps again and scores a layup. Everyone in the whole wide world who was watching the game saw the traveling violation, except for the 2 people who could do anything about it, the referees. No Call, Cleveland by 2 with 30 seconds left to go, me screaming and punching the couch.

-On the opposite end, Gilbert Arenas makes a truly spectacular play, driving the lane, getting fouled, and somehow the shot goes in. And One! Me screaming and doing the cowboy dance. Gilbert's free throw puts us up by one with 23 seconds left.

-On the next play, again, Cleveland goes to their star, Lebron James, who drives the lane, takes about 6 steps after he picks up his dribble, jumps, comes back down, and then scores a layup, putting them up by one with 5 seconds left. Again, everyone sees this travel, except for the officials. Me, in stunned silence, remains hopeful because of 5 seconds left on the clock and the Wiz have the ball, and only down one. We could still play for the win.

-Gilbert misses wide open 3 pointer with pretty much no time left. Wiz lose. Me, sad...and then angry....

How could the officials let Lebron get away with this? These are GAME-ALTERING NO- CALLS! I told Frank on Sunday that I was going to write an angry letter to David Stern. Here's what I'm writing.

Dear NBA Commissioner David Stern,

I am writing to you because I am enraged with anger about the outcome of the Wizards-Cavs game this past Friday night. As you know, the playoffs are very important, and the officials should not be able to alter the outcome of a game. They should allow the game to happen, and uphold the rules and integrity of the game. Key word: Integrity. (you may want to look it up, because you will see it again)

That clearly did not happen on two consecutive plays resulting in scores for Cleveland. It would seem that Lebron James is allowed to take as many steps and jumps that he wants to while holding the ball. These 2 No-Calls resulted in a loss for the Wizards. Had the game been called correctly, the Wizards would now be up 3 games to 1, instead of being tied in the series, going back to Cleveland. The thought of this makes me want to vomit my guts out.

Allowing stars special treatment seems to currently be a common practice of your officials. And for obvious reasons...the fans pay to see the stars, and it doesn't look good to have your stars on the bench with foul trouble. Makes sense. But in this case, these weren't fouls! They were traveling calls! Obvious Traveling Calls! Game Altering Traveling calls! In a recent poll done by ESPN, 73% felt that Lebron got away with traveling on those plays. That is high, considering the amount of people who are Lebron James fans.

This hurts the integrity of the game. The Wizards fans should not be forced to suffer in this way. As you know, sports are very important to a lot of people. People DIE for their local sports teams! People HAVE HEART ATTACKS for their local sports teams! People CRY about their local sports teams! People spend their entire paychecks on season tickets! Do you see what I'm getting at...people's lives are at stake. And I'm not even kidding.

Bring back the integrity! All we ask for is fairness! Allow the game to be won or lost by the players, and not by the officials. Don't Kill people! That's called murder, and is very illegal, as well as against the bible.

With Regards,
Jim

Hyping the Overhyped

2006-04-28T14:50:00.000-04:00

We've had a lot of Wizards and O's posts lately, so I'm going to mix it up and give my two cents on some other insanely over-talked sports stories making their way through the mass media hype-osphere, and try to write my way on to tomorrow's SportsCenter.
Here we go:

1. The Reggie Bush "scandal". Ok, it's not a scandal, but there is some shady stuff going on. I personally think that the villain in this is not Bush's parents, or Bush, but the pseudo-ex-agent guy who's house they stayed in. My guess is that he schmoozed the parents into agreeing to stay there and that they'll work out rent later, assuring them that there is no violation going on or nothing serious will happen. He was hoping this all would slide under the radar by the time Reggie got drafted and then sign him and make his payday. Now, because of Yahoo! Sports' Carmen Sandiego-like sleuth reporting (I like how all media outlets have to include the exlamation point when crediting Yahoo!), the master plan has been foiled, right before the draft. Now the agent guy has to cover his tracks and sue the parents, probably knowing now that Reggie will get another agent and needs his payday some other way. He seems like a sleazeball who's been yanking around the Bush's, and hopes to pin it on them, which might happen. Personally, I would still draft Reggie #1. Although, I hope he slides all the way down to #53 because of this scandal so the Redskins can draft him.

2. Nash for MVP? I seriously hope this is wrong (it's still labeled as a "report", so I guess that means we should only listen to it if it's correct). If Nash wins it, that will be back to back MVP's for a short, white, Canadian with scraggly hair. In today's NBA? That's a wowzer. I don't think Nash should be the MVP. Yes, he was very valuable to the Suns, who were without Stoudemire, but he is lacking in some key areas, namely defense, as he is an atrocious defender and gets beat more times than Peyton Manning in a playoff game. Plus, I think there's another player who helped his team exceed expectations more than Nash. And that's Kobe. The Mamba. 81 points. Where would the Lakers finish in the West without Kobe? You could make a case they'd finish last. But what about Phil Jackson, you ask? Is he the one to credit the Lakers' success? Well, I don't think Jackson would have even been hired if the Lakers didn't have Kobe. Kobe's value makes the Lakers think before the season started that they could be competitive and can pay Phil his money to make a playoff run AND rebuild at the same time. They have Lamar Odom and a bunch of scrubs without Kobe. Kobe should be MVP and you'll see why when he beats the Suns in their playoff series.

3. Brett Favre is coming BACK? You've got to be joking...right Brett? Don't get me wrong, I love Brett Favre. And don't get me wrong again, I don't love him in that way. But I love the way Brett Favre played back in his prime, and his back to back MVP seasons were breathtaking. He was the ultimate gunslinger and competitor and I idolized him, and you should have too. But that, sadly, was 10 years ago. Now, after a season where he tossed somewhere in the vicinity of 76 interceptions, he's coming back for more as a shell of his old self. And after thinking about why he's coming back for a while, I've decided it's for one reason and one reason only. Not to win another Lombardi, but to pass Dan Marino in career touchdown passes. Right now, he needs 25 TD's to break it and, in his mind, that should be one more season of work for him. After hearing all his ego-driven quotes this off-season like "what are they going to do, let me go?", this makes sense to me. If the Packers are healthy, they could make the playoffs, but they certainly won't win it all, we all know that and Brett knows that. But he wants the ultimate ego championship, the individual TD record. And he just may get it. Congrats Brett, I hope Packers fans will appreciate you for holding up their rebuilding process while attaining your record.

Oh, and Wizards by 4 tonight.

LeBron Who?

2006-04-26T09:47:00.000-04:00

Yeah that's right. I said LeBron who. Which is what the Wizards said last night as they stifled the Cavs and stole home court advantage in LeBron's first playoff series. And just when everyone was frothing at the mouth about how LeBron is, basically, Jesus Christ. After game 1, it seemed like every media outlet was saying the same three things about this series: LeBron is the next Jordan and Magic combined, the Wizards will be lucky to get 20 points the rest of the series, and LeBron will be the first player to get a quadruple double. OK media, have you settled down now? Good.

I was watching the game at Jim's last night and when it got down to under a minute left and the Cavs were down 5 or so, I was saying that if we were playing Michael Jordan, there's no doubt he would somehow pull this game out, maybe with a 4-point play or something. LeBron, however, doesn't seem ready to do that yet. It's still way too early for him to take the throne. I'm not saying that he won't be there someday, but let's just hold off on the hype until he has, oh, about 2 championships or so. Then maybe we can start discussing his Hall of Fame status. All he is right now is a 21 year old really good basketball player with one playoff win and a suspect crunch time resume. He's like a young Jedi who's still in training. We know he has the skill, possibly the most out of anyone, but he needs refinement and experience. And we also don't know if he's an Obi Won, a Luke, or an Anikan (although, I think you can make a case Kobe is the Anakin of the NBA. Or maybe even the Darth Vader).

As we saw last night, his late game heroics were a little lacking. He chucked up some 3's at the end of the game and missed. Then, after Billy "Prime Time" Thomas missed two crucial free throws and kept the game at one possession, LeBron brought the ball down and instead of making a play himself, he dished to Anderson "Sideshow" Varejao, who totally botched it.

So, as Jim predicted before I could, I think the series will still end in 6 in the Wizards' favor, but since I can't pick 6, I'll pick 5. Yes LeBron will most likely have one or two more great games in this series, but if the Cavs get down, count them out. And if another game comes down to the wire, I'm glad I have Gilbert Arenas on my team, and not LeBron.

Ray of Hope

2006-04-25T08:00:00.000-04:00

Cheesy title, I know...

So Chris Ray is 6 for 6 for the Orioles thus far in his first season as the Oriole's closer. He wrapped up his latest save this past week against the New York Yankees, by striking out both Alex Rodriguez (I've been writing A Rod for so long, I almost forgot how to spell "Rodriguez". I had to Google that sucker...) on 4 straight pitches, and Hideki Matsui (HiMat), who he got swinging on a 3-2 slider. A 3-2 SLIDER! EAT THAT SUCKA-FOOL!

So the Orioles are sitting pretty in the Ninth Inning with the game on the line. It feels good to know you have a good closer, despite losing last year's closer (All Star BJ Ryan)to free agency.

Said Ray: "I just try to take these SUCKA-FOOLS down. 3 Straight, 4 straight. It don't matter. I'll brush these fools back with the inside heat and the suckas won't even know what day it is. Beej got me ready for this gig, so I have tip my hat to the old Beejer, even though he is a money-loving whore without a soul. No I'm just kidding. BEEJ, if you are reading this, I do admit that you have a soul, it's just very black. Anyway, back to me. I just try to SUCKA punch these FOOLS, until they bleed. And I'm not talking about external bleeding that can be fixed with a band-aid. I'm talking about the internal kind that you really don't even know about until it is too late, and fool is being carted off in the meatwagon."

When asked about his intense morbid thought processes, Ray responed: "When you are in this league, SUCKAFOOLS are trying to TAKE YOU DOWN! They want BLOOD and the SMELL FEAR! It's KILL or BE-KILLED! AND I AIN'T EVEN FRONTIN'. Now, if you want to talk about inspiration, then OK! Favorite movies: Number 1: Blacula, and Number 2: Scream Blacula Scream (..aka, Blacula II...aka, Blacula is Beautiful...aka, Blacula Lives Again!...aka, The Name is Blacula), Number 3: Vampire in Brooklyn."

Wizards vs Cavaliers - Playoff Series Preview

2006-04-20T07:51:00.000-04:00

The Wizards defeated the Piston's reserves last night, so they clinched the 5th spot in the Eastern Conference, which means that we'll be facing off against the Cleveland Cavaliers in the first round of the playoffs. This looks to be an exciting series, and so, like any fledgling sports blogger, I wanted to post my thoughts about the upcoming series (before Frank has the opportunity to upstage me).

My 10 Reasons why I think the Wiz will win!

1.) Season Series - Wiz 3, Cavs 1 - The only win the Cavs have over the Wiz came early on, while Washington was working out some chemistry issues (this was before Caron Butler was starting). Since their slow beginning, the Wizards have picked things up in the second half of the season, despite a 5 game losing streak near the end of the season, where Caron Butler was out. This brings me to point 2....

2.) Caron Butler - Frank's Blog the other day hit the nail on the head; We need Caron Butler to win. He brings the hustle and intensity, and 3rd scoring threat that Washington completely lacks without him.

3.) Lebron James - is completely untested. At times during the year, he's been terrible down the stretch (totally not clutch). When the playoff pressure is on, do you think he will be able to stand the test? Who knows? Let me just say though, he is probably one of the five best players right now. So, he could destroy us single handedly....but do you think he will? NEITHER DO I!

4.) Larry Hughes - Instead of staying with the team that he grew into an All-Star with(I know Larry Hughes has not been an All Star, but just go with me on this one), he took the money and ran to Cleveland. Do you think it is purely coincidental that his first playoff game for the Cavaliers is against his former team? NEITHER DO I!!

5.) Gilbertology 101 - Being known and loved as one of the quirkiest NBA stars today, Gilbert makes me proud to be a Wizards fan. Sure, he's a scoring point guard, which is semi-out-of-fashion these days...But I still love him. Reasons: He throws his jerseys out to kids in the stands after every game; he's 4th in the league is scoring; he rescued our franchise by getting us to the playoffs 2 years in a row (something that the greatest basketball player to ever live couldn't do); he plays online poker at half time to stay sharp and competitive; he adopted a 10 year old kid who lost both of his parents in a fire; He's really good! I mean, the list probably goes on. My favorite thing is when he goes like a whole game without shooting because a teammate had called him selfish the night before. He'll get like 18 assists and the Wiz typically wins those games! Do you think that is purely coincidental? NEITHER DO I!!!!!

6.) The Cavs - The pieces don't fit. They have chemistry issues! Z is a slow, bulking center who thrives in the halfcourt game. Lebron James should be their point guard, and he thrives in a fast paced, up and down game. Larry Hughes, Up and Down game...Donyell Marshall, Half court game; Damon Jones, the only reason anyone thought he was good was because he played a year with Shaq, getting to shoot all of his 3 pointers completely uncontested; ...You see, there are issues. Do you think it is purely coincidental that they are having these chemistry issues? NEITHER DO I!

7.) The Wizards are better coached. Who is the Cavs' coach anyway? Mike Brown? Isn't he like their 3rd coach in 3 years? That's not good. The Wiz are coached by Eddie Jordan, who took over the year after the failed Michael Jordan experiment. Do you think it is purely coincidental that Eddie, who has enjoyed 2 years of success, and Michael, who suffered through 2 years of failure, both have the SAME LAST NAME!!! JORDAN!!! NEITHER DO I!!!!!!!

8.) Experience - The Wiz were there last year, and had success, the Cavs weren't and didn't. Coincidence? NO SIR!!!!

9.) The Curse of Wes Unseld - During James's senior year of High School, he was suspended for a few games for receiving free a Wes Unseld Bullet's Jersey. Do you think it is purely coincidental that his first playoff games will be against the team that Unseld used to play for? NEITHER DO I!!!

10.) The B and O Railroad - The Baltimore and Ohio Railroad (B&O) is one of the oldest railroads in the United States, with an original line from the port of Baltimore, Maryland west to the Ohio River at Wheeling, West Virginia and Parkersburg, West Virginia. It was built to connect the Baltimore Harbor to a suitable port on the Ohio River. Now, the Washington Wizards used to be the Washington Bullets, who used to be the Baltimore Bullets. Do you see where I'm going with this? No...OK, I'll explain...You see, the B and O Railroad never went through Cleveland. It only went to West Vriginia! NO ONE REMEMBERS THIS! So, what I'm saying is, that railroad DID go through Baltimore, and Washington DC, the 2 cities in which the Wizards Franchise has resided, but despite having OHIO in its name, has NEVER gone through Cleveland, where the Cavs reside. There wouldn't even BE A CLEVENLAND, if not for Washinton DC leading the way! DO you think this is all PURELY COINCIDENTAL? NEITHER DO I!!!!!!!!

Wiz in 6!

Pop Quiz, Hot Shot

2006-04-19T10:43:00.000-04:00

What would you do if you were an NBA player and found yourself in the following situation:

You're heading into the last game of the regular season and your team has solidified a playoff berth in the Western Conference. HowEVA (as Steven A. would say), your playoff seeding is still to be decided by this last game. Conventional wisdom would tell you that if you win this game, your seeding would be higher and your playoff chances would be greater. Unfortunately, conventional wisdom has no place in the NBA playoff system, leaving you with quite a conundrum. You see, if you win this game, you will earn the 5 seed and will be matched up in a road series against the 4 seed. But the 4 seed, in this case, is a team with the second best record in your conference, and is at least 12 games better than you in the standings. The reason they are the 4 seed is because they were beat out by 2 games in their own division by the reigning NBA champs and the team with the best record in the West. And if you win tonight's game, you get to play this powerhouse team in a road series that just missed out being the 1 seed. Fun.

Now, God forbid, if you lose tonight's game, you drop to the 6 seed. You will play the 3 seed, who is the division leading team with the worst record of the 3 divisions. But, this particular 3 seed actually has a worse record than your team by at least 2 games. Since they won their division, though, they are "rewarded" with a 3 seed. HowEVA (again, Steven A.), since you have a better record than them, the NBA says you get HOME COURT ADVANTAGE if you match up with them in the playoffs.

So to recap: you have a choice between playing the second best team in the West with a record that crushes yours, who almost earned the top seed in the West, and you will play them in a road series OR you can play a team with a worse record than you and you have HOME COURT ADVANTAGE. If you win tonight, you get choice A. If you lose, God forbid, you get choice B.
In the immortal words of Dennis Hopper, "What do you do....what do you do...?"

This was the scenario that BOTH the Grizzlies and the Clippers faced last night. The winner of their game gets choice A in the Dallas Mavs, and the loser gets choice B in the Denver Nuggets. This ridiculous mess is a product of the NBA's playoff system, where the 3 divisions winners get the top 3 seeds, but if they play someone with a better record, they give up home court advantage. It makes sense on paper, but practically, it's not well thought out and, in my opinion, is a disgrace. It leads to these types of scenarios which comprimise the competitive spirit of the game, and it's not the players' fault, it's the NBA. Basically, the NBA makes it possible to come as close to point shaving as possible withough getting in trouble for it. I think it is a huge issue that isn't talked about except on Around the Horn, and something NEEDS to be done.

So if I were player X or coach Y on the Grizzlies or Clippers, I would, in the least obvious way possible (for the kids), do everything to completely TANK this game and get the 6 seed. And there is one reason and only one reason I would use to justify this. It is the best chance for my team to win the championship. Period. I would, without a doubt, rather play the Nuggets and then have to face the Mavs or Spurs, if I make it to the 3rd round, after they beat up on each other, than face the Mavs in the first round who will be fresh and ready to rock. I want my road to the champioship to be, perceivably, as easy as possible, just like you would in the NCAA Final Four. The same goes for poker, where you want to put all your chips on the table with the best hand possible before the flop. The Nuggets in the first round is the best hand possible, giving me a more the 50/50 chance, where the Mavs would be like facing pocket Aces.

So, as I had hoped, the Grizzlies and Clippers benched their good players with phantom injuries and let the backups decide their fate. But you and I know, that even though they looked down, Sam Cassell and the Clips were smiling inside when they lost that game.

So I ask you, to tank or not to tank...that is the question....
and my answer, along with any NBA player or coach should be YES! At least in today's NBA.
What would you do?

The Butler Factor

2006-04-17T10:55:00.000-04:00

Phew. For a second there, I though the Wizards were orchestrating one of the all-time great collapses. They were comfortably the 5th seed a week ago and downshifting before the playoff surge. The downshift, however, fizzled into a stall out. A hurt Caron Butler, a scrappy Bucks team, and an unconscious Ben Gordon left the Wizards in a five-game funk and leaving us fans with flashbacks to Rod Strickland the Wizards of the 90's.

But these are not our Wizards of the 90's. Not only did they clinch a playoff birth yesterday by handily beating LeBron and Cavs, they show me that they are going to be something to be reckoned with in the playoffs. And not just because of Gilbert Arenas and Antawn Jamison. There's a new face in town: Caron Butler. The Bully. The Brat. The Byron Mouton. He's what the Wizards need to combat the powers of the East. He's got the toughness and swagger that Larry Hughes couldn't exhibit if he worked for the Smithsonian. It was a painfully obvious sign that the 5-game losing streak directly coincided with Butler's 5-game injury absence. And remember who we gave up for him? Kwame, the last of the Michael Jordan project. Don't worry, Lakers. I made the same mistake 7 years ago when, in my first fantasy basketball season ever, I inexplicably was talked into trading Kevin Garnett for Doug Christie, Shawn Bradley, and Tom Gugliotta. You can be talked into anything, if you don't know what you're doing.

So, I expect the Wizards to beat the Bucks at home on Tuesday, as do the Wizards. Then, they'll go on to Detroit and beat their backups to lock up the 5th seed. Then on to Cleveland, where I see a more experienced, deeper team to come out victorious. That team will be the Wizards, spoiling LeBrons inaugural playoff appearance. And then come a team we've already beat twice this year, the Pistons. Thank God it won't be Miami.

Opinion: Facial Hair = Fun

2006-04-13T15:09:00.000-04:00

Hello Everyone,

In today's blog, I will be wading in the waters of opinion...and my topic today is facial hair.

The thing that got me thinking about this is Kevin Millar. On the Red Sox, Millar was known as a clubhouse leader, coining the phrase "Cowboy Up!", which was really cool, in my opinion. All of the Red Sox players would grow nasty facial hair, and things were merry.

But since moving on to the Orioles, Millar has been forced to shave his nasty facial hair because the Orioles have a "No Facial Hair" team policy. Johnny Damon, who probably had the best facial hair to head hair combo since Goose Gossage, was also forced to shave his Jesus beard off when he joined the Yankees. Now, instead of being known as the guy who looks like Jesus, he will be known as the sell-out, who ruined the lives of all those people who bought those "Damon is my home boy" t-shirts.

In short, I think these "no facial hair policies" are stupid. The game is supposed to be fun. When it looks like the players are having fun, then we want to have fun with them. We want to buy more tickets to games, we want to buy more merchandise, and we want to grow nasty facial hair too (if we are in college). These aren't corporate jobs...they are ball players. Let them have fun!!!

Who would you rather have on your team?

This Guy?

Or This Guy.....

I think my point has been made. Facial Hair + Baseball = FUN!!!!

Wise up, Orioles! It's time to unleash the beasts!

Baseball Quick Hits

2006-04-12T12:20:00.000-04:00

Now that '06 baseball is underway, let's take a look at some highlights, surprises, and general nuggets to start out the season, handpicked by yours truly:

1. The Mets currently have the best record in the NL. This was the really the main reason why I wanted to post this list, so as to brag. I know it's early, but Atlanta, prepare to relinquish your crown.

2. Doc Gooden was sentenced to a year in jail for his annual probation violation. The good news is that he gets credit for previous jail time, leaving him with only 7 1/2 months to serve. He'll be home in time for Christmas!

3. Griffey Jr. seems like a fantasy draft steal with his hot early numbers. Not so fast though, as I just got word that he twisted both groins while doing butterfly stretches in pre-game warm-ups.

4. Keith Foulke got the hook in Boston, which is good for Sox fans since Papelbon looks like a legit closer. I should have listened to Bill Simmons, who said to draft Papelbon no matter how many people make fun of his name.

5. Dick Cheney, who threw out the pitch at the Nats home opener, was reported to be wearing a bullet-proof vest. This was because Harry Whittington was in attendance. (Jay Leno, your job is not safe)

6. Eric Chavez is actually having a decent start to the season. Somebody has to be slacking on the steroids tests in Oakland for this to happen. I see an "Original Whizzinator" scenario brewing here.

7. A.J. Burnett, Nomar, Kerry Wood, Mark Prior, and Eric Gagne all start the season on the DL. Actually, I didn't need to say that, did I?

8. The Braves pitching staff is off to a horrible start, while the O's staff is starting strong. The Leo Mazzone addition will turn out to be the best move in baseball this year, without a shred of doubt.

9. Barroid Bonds is hacking away in San Fran with no taters as of yet. That's OK though, because his new reality show "Bonds on Bonds" had to have taken a toll on him from all the cutting out of footage that put him in any sort of negative light.

10. Pedro was involved with another bench clearing incident where he plunked Jose Guillen of the Nats twice. No punches were thrown, as many players were trying to throw each other down by the back of the neck. Don Zimmer was then seen charging towards Pedro from the crowd, but then slowly backed away as Pedro did the Crane stance.

This concludes my baseball season opening Quick Hit List. I hope to have another list for the start of the NBA Playoffs. Feel free to comment with your own, but make sure they are uproariously funny.

Baltimore! Introducing your starting OF!...all 7 of them!

2006-04-11T13:49:00.000-04:00

Gibbons
Newhan
Markakis
Conine
Matos
Patterson
Millar

O's manager Sam Perlozzo (Did they make it a rule that all O's managers have to have a double "Z" in their name from now on?) has been shuffling the starting outfield line up more than my Grandpa Bill's card shuffling machine.

(My Grandpa Bill used to play cards a lot, and then his arthritis got really bad so he couldn't shuffle the cards anymore. So then he got the machine to do it for him. But once you can't shuffle the cards anymore for yourself, the game loses its sexiness, and he soon quit after that. He's now sitting in front of a tv with headphones with the volume turned all the way up.)

I think this is a good thing. Perlozzo is basically saying..."If you produce, you will play." Some people, like Melvin Mora, may think this is bad, because players like consistency. I think its great, because all of the players out there are getting used to playing, and a lot of them are producing.

But this begs the question, and please, LEAVE A COMMENT WITH YOUR OPIION, what is our best starting outfield? If the playoffs started today, who would you put out there....Discuss...

I'm going with Gibbons, Conine, and Markakis. Followed closely by Newhan, and Matos. Followed not so closely by Patterson. I'd really like to see that upside, Corey.

Masters? More Like Napsters

2006-04-11T12:17:00.000-04:00

I'm going to go ahead and talk some golf. I know that a lot of people don't give a flying flapjack about golf, but some of us do. And by us I mean me. So I watched the final round of the Masters on Sunday and, for golf fans, the final round leaderboard was a smorgasboard of the greatest names in the game, all looking to rise up and don the green jacket. I was salivating at the chance to see the Big Four: Tiger, Phil, Vijay, and Ernie, all rounding the turn and primed for a duel to the death. Actually, I was hoping for a 10-way tie, where the tournament directors decided that they couldn't decide it in a traditional playoff, but all had to fly to Tokyo and compete against each other in the Viking Extreme Obstacle Course. Last one standing wins (if you haven't seen The Viking on ESPN2, you're missing a stupendous show).

Anyway, the round started off well, as there were 5 or so players tied for first after about 6 holes. But as the day progressed, the players started dropping like flies, all except for Phil Mickelson, who played a steady, easy-going round. Everyone else just jumped off a cliff. Rocco Mediate shot a 10 on one hole, Fred Couples putted worse than a 5 year old girl, Ernie Els' knee injury flared up, and Vijay was glaringly inconsistent, following every birdie with a bogey. That left Tiger. His tee to green play was astoundingly better than everyone else in contention. Yet, he somehow couldn't put the ball in the hole the same we he usually does when he's leading a tournament. He gave himself two crucial eagle putts within 20 feet, and if he made them, he would have got momentum and the crowd on his side, while putting immense pressure on Phil. But he missed them both. Badly. He even missed the birdie putt coming back on one of them, ultimately leaving him tied for third, not second. I then realized that Tiger has never once truly come back to win a major tournament. He only wins when he's in the lead. He CANNOT pull off a comeback victory. After I had done about two hours of research on how Tiger has no signature comebacks, I ran across an AP article that pretty much sums it all up (and proved my research to be a colossal waste of time, thanks AP). Check it out HERE.

Because of Tiger's major flaw, the Masters turned out to be a major let down (and turned my Masters into the Napsters). I rest this all on Tiger because he's supposed to be extaordinary. He's the one player who we all think can win any tournament, any time, no matter how far back he is. But that turns out to be just hype and mystique. If you want a comeback, take a look at the video tape of Phil's monumental Masters of two years ago. He got it done. Something I'm not sure is in Tiger's golf bag.

Genius Arenas

2006-04-06T15:24:00.000-04:00

Gilbert Arenas is hoarding basketball jerseys at each city he plays. Check out this tidbit from the Washington Post:

"Arenas said he has about 160 autographed jerseys. With the help of memorabilia shops, a few jersey companies and members of the Wizards' public relations staff, Arenas has been accumulating new and old jerseys from opposing players and former legends at every stop.
'I got Wilt Chamberlain, Magic, Jordan,' Arenas said. 'When I'm done, I'm going to build an all-glass gym and have them built in the floor.'"

If I were God, I'd hire Gilbert to be the lead architect for the YMCA in heaven. Seriously, that gym is going to be the greatest man-made object since the Pyramids.

At the Ole Ball Park

2006-04-06T12:48:00.000-04:00

Me and Jim up and bought some bleacher seats to the O's game last night against the powerhouse Devil Rays. I think it's a great idea to go to the second game of the season. Compared to opening day, it' has half the crowd, half the fireworks, and half the lame fanfare and celebration, and you still get an early glimpse of the team. And if this game is an indication of the rest of the season for the O's, pick up the whole O's lineup for your fantasy team, at least for the month of April. Jay Gibbons may have even earned a spot on my team. Everyone was jumping out of the gate. We batted around twice in the first 4 innings and Brian Roberts had 5 plate appearances in 5 innings. Although, it's possible that going up against Seth McClung, who handily rhymes with McDung, will skew the offensive stats a bit. On the negative, Bedard looked a bit shakey, and if we weren't at the slaughter rule by the 5th inning, he may not have lasted for the win. So it's not exactly an impressive win, but it's good to see the runs on the board.

One non-game highlight was a guy 4 rows back yelling at Johnny Gomes, the D-Rays' right fielder. I've heard from SportsCenter that his name is pronounced as if it rhymed with "homes", but this guy persisted to continuously yell "hey GO-MEZ" over and over. He didn't really have any insults for him or classic put-downs, yet it seemed uproariously funny every time he yelled "Hey Go-mez". By the 3rd inning, he had about 10 other people (including me) just yelling "Go-Mez". Our whole section was eventually saying "Let's Go Go-Mez" while eveyone one else in the stadium was saying "Let's Go Orioles". We would even yell "Go-Mez!" instead of "Charge!". And to this moment, I have no idea why we were doing this. Actually, I just figured out why. Go-Mez is the perfect name to shout. Go ahead, just shout it right now. You'll understand.

Other ballpark highlights included the "Bird Man", (who was some guy sitting in the back of our section with an orange and black pom-pom wig and a toucan nose who would occasionally run to the front of the section and yell incoherently), the token Wizards Wrap-up show caller asking the Oriole Bird for an autograph (I'll let Jim explain that), and going a perfect 0-3 in the Crab Shuffle, Hot Dog Race, and Guess the Year contests on the Jumbo Screen. Plus, I still have hair in my mouth from the free O's fleece blanket they gave out, which is a great way to take home a part of the game.

All in all, it was a freezing night, a blowout game, and an expensive dinner. Everything you want and more at the ole ball park.

Act Like You Know!

2006-04-05T13:27:00.000-04:00

Um......

You guys know that was a WOMEN'S Game, right?

Heroes in a Half Shell

2006-04-05T10:02:00.000-04:00

I watched the Terps' monumental comeback against Duke last night in the women's champ game. It was thoroughly entertaining and I almost left to go riot on campus. But then I remembered that it's just the women. And, for the record, I would never be watching women's basketball if Maryland wasn't in it, playing for a national title. And I wouldn't be as entertained if we weren't smashing the hopes and dreams of a senior led Duke team that acted like the trophy was already on a flight back to Durham. I guess we didn't get the memo. Sorry Duke. Now WE are only 1 of 4 schools in the country that have both a men's and women's basketball title and NOT YOU.

Anyway, last night was also the most exciting sporting event of my wife's life. Never once, for as long as I've known her, has she ever wanted to high five me during a game on TV. She even said the obligitory anxious quote of "Are we gonna win??" with 9:48 remaining in the game. I asked her, out of all the times I've dragged you to the TV to watch a Skins, Mets, Orioles, Wizards, or Men's Terps game, why now are you this excited about a sports game?? Her answer: "I think it's because they are women". Hmmm....I still don't understand what exactly that means. I just hope this doesn't mean I have to start watching women's basketball as a trade for me watching men's basketball. She also told me not to blog about this, but I'd be doing us all an injustice if I didn't.

O Baby!

2006-04-04T11:56:00.000-04:00

The O's won their Opening Day game against the Tampa Devil Rays, final score 9-6. Rodrigo Lopez looked a bit shaky, but the O's bats got it done. We hit like 4 homeruns. It was rad.

Could someone please sign Melvin Mora for next year? I heard the negotiations went something like this....

Mora- I would like 3 years, $30 Million.

O's - How about 3 years, $24 Million?

Mora - No, that is too low. I am pretty good. Plus, I'm loyal. I was the only one who went to Elrod's funeral, and dude creeped me out. How about 3 years, $28 Million?

O's - How about 3 years, $24 Million?

Mora - Um, no. Like I said, that is too low. Did you see how much money BJ Ryan got last year? And Dude had like one good year. I've been here forever. I became an All-Star here. I want to stay here.

O's - How about 3 years, $24 Million?

Mora - Dude! No! I am worth at least $9 Million a year. How about adding more years? How about 4 years, $32 Million?

O's - How about 3 years, $24 Million?

Mora - I don't feel like you are listening to me. I am better than Jay Gibbons. Ask anyone! Now you are trying to pay me like my name is Jay Gibbons. What is up with that?

O's - How about 3 years, $24 Million?

Mora- Um..........

O's - How about 3 years, $24 Mi-Millionze?

Mora - Are you OK?

O's - How ab-b-b-bout 3 years, $24 M-m-million?

Mora - I think this machine is broken.

Josh Baskin - You have to unplug the machine for it to work correctly. Sock me in the 3 more tiiiiimes!

Mora - Oh, Ok, thanks.

(Mora unplags machine)

Josh Baskin - OK, now you have to get a quarter in the mouth of the Geenie.

(Mora, on his 1st try, sinks a quarter into the mouth of the Geenie. The machine begins to smoke and shake and stuff)

Josh Baskin - Great! Now you have to make a wish.

Mora - Now, how about 3 years, $30 Million?

O's - Make a wish.

Mora - Um.....

Josh Baskin - I wish I was big.

(Machine spits out a card that states "Your wish is granted")

Mora - Hey! You took my wish!

(Josh Baskin runs away)

Yawn V2.0

2006-04-04T11:52:00.000-04:00

So after watching a "gem" of a game last night for the national title, I realized I didn't predict the game winner on this blog. So, without further ado, my prediction was: Florida. Did I get it right? Sweet! I'm back on top! Anyway, I'm extremely tired today because I had to stay up for the game. I really don't like how the title game has to start at 9:30pm. Yes, I know that the west coast says they have to have the game on during non-business hours. But, if I have to go to sleep by 10:30pm to be able to function at work, why do we on the east coast have to either sacrifice the second half of the game or 2 hours of precious sleep. If they moved it up to 8pm, the worst thing that would happen to those on the west coast is they'd get home from work in time for the second half. That doesn't seem fair to us. Although, maybe it's because the networks know that sports fans would rather walk around like zombies on Tuesday than miss a championship game. And it probably doesn't help that I played Dr. Mario for an hour after the game ended. I know I'm not in college anymore. Check that. I know I'm not in elementary school anymore.

Also, there was a lot of talk in the national media before the semi-final games about this tournament being the best one ever. After the last three (and most important) games, would you still consider this tournament the best 64 games ever? I know I was convinced that it was the best I've seen, but that was before these games, and now I'm not so sure. Maybe I'll ask Billy Packer his opinion and agree with whatever he says.

Speaking of YAWN

2006-04-03T11:02:00.000-04:00

How crappy were those two Final Four games? So crappy that I let my wife change the channel at halftime of the second game. I felt like crying with a towel over my head like the Mason players, especially since I said they could win it all (Aaron has dubbed me King Minus, because whatever I say, the opposite will happen). I thought Mason could give us another thriller and pull it out, and at halftime it seemed like they had Florida just where they wanted them. Then...pressure and tiredness hit them like a dump truck. They missed layups and shot pressed threes. Jai Lewis would get beat on the dribble and then just shove the player. Before they knew it, Lee Humphrey's treys put them in a hole that had them believing, for the first time this tournament, that they don't belong here. As for LSU, they just plain old stunk up Indy like it was a landfill. Oh well, hopefully Billy Packer is right when he says that whenever the Final Four games are stinkers, the Championship game is "a gem". I'm sure we all trust Billy Packer's judgement, and if so, this game tonight will be better than the Laettner game. Get ready for the greatest game ever!

(YAWN)

2006-04-03T09:43:00.000-04:00

Maryland (my alma-mater) is playing for a national championship. I wish this mattered to me....on second thought, I really don't wish this mattered to me.

No First Base Action for Javy - O's Notes

2006-03-31T11:26:00.000-05:00

- It seems like Javy Lopez's conversion from catcher to first base has not gone the way everyone had hoped, kinda like rapper Mase's conversion to Christianity (Mase will now be known as "Murder Mase", That's Fly!). It seems like his frustration with his own fielding has also trickled over to his bat. Lopez was batting .139 through Wednesday. That sucks. So he will now have to make another conversion over to DH, kinda like how Mase has got to make another conversion over to 50 Cent's "G-Unit" record label. Newly acquired Kevin Millar, and Jeff Conine will probably "cowboy up" to that position.

- It's being reported today that newly acquired Kris Benson's wife, Anna, is divorcing him. They reports don't say much about the divorce itself, or how either of them are doing. Interestingly enough, these reports were issued the same day that Matt LeBlanc and his wife were announcing their divorce. Ed, the baseball playing monkey, was not available for comment on either situation.

- Nobody knows who's gonna play LF or CF. Nik Markakis has had a good spring, but he's young, and the managers aren't thrilled about throwing him out the wolves yet. Oh, and Patterson and Matos both suck equally. So that's a tight race.......to see who sucks more. I say, let the wild child show what he can do. Ooohh, I just typed the words "wild child show" in succession. My bad. How about, "I say we let the wild child reveal to the masses that he ain't no punk." There, that's better.

- Tejada has sucked during spring training, but everyone says he always sucks during spring training, and so they aren't worried. Should I have a problem with this?

-All-Star 2nd Baseman, Brian Roberts, is back after rehab, and he's looking as good as ever. Woo Hoo!

- But we have no bullpen. Oh.

- Our young starting pitching is looking good however. Reason for hope? I hope so. Is it a bad sign when you are hoping for hope?

I Don't See Why Not

2006-03-28T15:30:00.000-05:00

News Flash: George Mason will win the NCAA Tournament. How crazy would that be? Well, no crazier than saying George Mason will beat UConn, UNC, and Michigan State to get there. And because of this I see absolutely no reason why the boys from Fairfax won't win two more games. So I am picking Mason to win it all for six reasons:

1. They have just as good of a shot to win it all as the other three, and I'd say a better shot than UCLA right now, who would have a hard time scoring 50 points on my old UMD co-ed champ intramural team, who's starting point guard was John Chacko.

2. Their offense is running on all cylinders and it's so simple that it's unstoppable. Their two big men are able to post and score with either a jump hook or drop-step. If they're double teamed, they kick it out to one of the three guards who will then knock down a shot. I wish I knew this when I coached little league with Brad Hunter in high school.

3. They have the right mind set. This team is actually listening to Coach Larranaga when he says that they should be having fun on the court, which keeps them relaxed and not pulling choke jobs like "Ball-Americans" Redick and Morrison. (Get it? Ball-Americans? Because they cried! Ha! Anyway...)

4. Because of Phil's Mom. For those who don't know, this comes from Tony Kornheiser's radio show. Phil is Tony's old show producer, who now produces for Dan Patrick, and Tony has on Phil's mom every year to fill out her bracket. This is because her picks are all based on Mascots, colors, funny-sounding names, and all those reasons people who don't know what they're doing pick brackets by. But every year, she picks something ludicrously random and then it happens. Guess who she picked to WIN IT ALL this year??? George Mason!!!
Go to www.thiswebsitestinks.com for proof.

5. Because I said the mid-majors don't belong in the tourney this year. After all my ranting about them, what's a better way for me to look like an idiot than for a mid-major to win it all. (And now, after this post, I can still look like I'm smart if they do win it all...I'm coving all bases here.)

6. Lastly, because the George Mason upset of UConn solidified my win in one of my two pools I played in this year. I'd like to thank Eric Schroeder for inviting me into his pool of Ohio State fans, many of whom had them at least in the final four, leaving me with a clear path to the basket, so to speak.

So clearly, going by these very logical arguments, George Mason is bringing home the big crystal basketball trophy back to the DC area, right down the street from Maryland's trophy and far away from Ohio State.

And remember, you heard it here first the second time.

Farewell to Duke

2006-03-24T09:41:00.000-05:00

I've been feeling pretty silly about my tourney predictions. I'm like the Washington, DC weathermen. I forecast a foot of snow and blizzard conditions, and when the day comes there's a few flurries in the morning and a fair amount of sunshine.

I'm talking about Bradley. I said they shouldn't be in the tournament and that their spot would have been better suited for Maryland. Since that statement, Bradley advanced a couple rounds into the tourney until losing recently, and Maryland lost the opener of the NIT tourney at home, to a middle school class.

Oh well. The good news is Duke is gone. We won't have to see Redick cutting down the nets. I know some folks wonder why I feel about Duke the way I do. Dan Wetzel, a columnist for Yahoo! Sports recently wrote about Duke's loss and I feel this column best represents my feelings.

Wetzel

It may seem immature, but here goes: Ha Ha Duke! You lose!! Ha Haaa Ha Haaa Ha. I'm JJ Redick and my poop is made of gold. I'm going to buy an Escalade with my poop bricks. No one can beat me because I have paid off all the refs with rings and coins made from my precious poop. Behold mortals, your basketball god walks near.

Okay, got that off my chest. Way to go LSU.